Tiffany’s story, part 2
Suzie: Let’ s pick up where we left off yesterday. You said that called several abortion clinics, but you didn’t want to go through with it. What made you decide to make the appointment?
Tiffany: Fear. Fear of losing John’s love. Fear of being a single mom. Fear of never being love by another man because I had someone else’s child. Fear of being judged by others. Fear of all the “what-if’s.” (more…)
Tiffany’s StoryToday I interview Tiffany Stuart. She talks about looking for love, an abortion she didn’t want, but had, and how God helped change this painful chapter in the story of her life.
Suzie: When you were in your early twenties, you said you abandoned your faith for a time. That’s interesting because there is a study out that says that 86% of twentysomethings leave their faith. What happened in your case?
Tiffany: My relationship with God grew stale in high school. I moved during my 9th grade summer to the desert away from my city and friends. My new friends weren’t believers, or if they were, I didn’t know it. So I had no accountability. No one asked me to youth group anymore. I didn’t really understand what I read in the Bible, and my family didn’t attend church.
So in my early twenties, I worked two jobs and started hanging out with my friends at nightclubs. Going to church after I partied on Saturday night just didn’t seem right. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. I was either in or out. Out seemed like more fun.
Back then, my view of God was warped. I viewed Him as a punishing God if I didn’t do all the right things. I wasn’t exactly walking the holy road during those days. Who wants to run to an angry God who might say, “Shame on you”? Not me. So I walked away from my faith.
Suzie: What would you say to the twentysomething that is disillusioned with faith? Where do they turn when they have doubts or feel like they’ve failed? (more…)
Focus on the Family Broadcast
I will be interviewed by LuAnne Crane of Focus on the Family each weekend in February. I hope you tune in as I talk about issues such as letting go of the past, forgiveness, shaping our children’s memories, gaining new perspective, unpacking unhealthy parenting baggage, helpful and practical tools to give your children stability, love, and a safe and loving home.
You can learn more about this program when you visit the website at http://listen.family.org/weekend. If you hit the “Listen Now” link, you’ll be able (eventually) to hear the program online; or if you hit the “Find a Station” link you’ll be directed to a series of pull-down menus that will reveal where you can listen to the broadcast in your local area.
I will be in Escondido, California this weekend teaching a workshop for moms on The Mom I Want to Be at Hearts at Home Mom’s Day Out conference. It’s not too late to register if you are in the San Diego area.
Suz
What are you known for?
I’m meeting with two smart and God-filled people this month, and one of them asked this question: What are you known for?
Living as a forgiver
I’ve been working on a new book about forgiveness. The deeper that I get into this book, the more I realize how much work there is left to do in my own heart. That’s the beauty of writing, whether in a journal or a book. You can’t get away from the black and white clarity.
I forgive easily. Or at least I say I do. I’m compassionate. I tend to see things through the eyes of mercy, rather than judgment. The big things are forgiven because I know that there is a process, and at the end of it is a healthy perspective and wholeness.
But the guy who has road rage? The person who is unkind to someone because they don’t measure up in image or intellect? The insenstive man or woman who fails to see the needs of those around them?
Not so much.
Because I was once hurt, I throw on my avenger cape and try to make these people conform to my standards, so that they won’t hurt.
This is the problem. Most of the time my avenger cape just gets in the way. People work through conflict. The road rage guy gets pulled over. The person who is insensitve has a chance to apologize.
There are times that I NEED to step in, and I will not hesitate to do that in those cases, but for the most part I need to step back.
I talked about this with two friends who are also authors. One had a dad who was an alcoholic. The other was molested as a child. Their faith in an amazing God has healed them. They both write and speak, and one has a national organization that reaches hundreds of thousands of women.
But they both said this was still a work in progress in them. They’ve conquered, with God’s help, the big things.
Now it’s the little things that irk, annoy, irritate, or inflame.
Yesterday, as I wrote a chapter, I asked God to perform in me what I believed to be a bridge to healing: to live a life as a forgiver–in big and small things.
Suz
Forgiving is hard to do (Giveaway)
Welcome to those of you who have dropped by from the Proverbs 31 Devotion today! I’m always excited to make new friends.
Forgiving is such a hard topic. It sometimes seems like it would be easier to take an eraser and rub the harder verses out of the Bible, doesn’t it? And yet forgiveness is transforming.
One reason it might be hard to forgive is that the offender isn’t sorry for what they did. Why should we “let go” when they’ve not admitted their wrongs? (more…)
