Cancer & the Story of Your Life: Day 2
January 15, 2008 | interviews, stories
Today is part 2 of my interview with Yvonne Ortega and her faith journey through cancer.
Suzie: Let’s pick up where we left off yesterday. The word cancer has so many negative connotations. Maybe someone’s asking, “Is it possible that there was anything good that came about through your illness?
Yvonne: Oh, yes. I am a stronger Christian today. I know God loves me and that he is faithful. I no longer doubt his call on my life as a counselor as well as an author and speaker.
After going through the trauma of cancer, I counsel with more effectiveness. When clients tell me they are scared, depressed, or angry, I understand because I’ve experienced those same emotions.
Suzie: During your illness and now in recovery, have you ever asked God, “Why” or “Why me?”
Yvonne: I didn’t ask, but I lashed out in anger at God. I knew he called me to be a counselor. So I spent hundreds of hours studying, writing papers, and completing projects and paid thousands of dollars for my master’s degree in counseling. Half-way through my residency, I received my diagnosis of cancer. I thought the timing was outrageous and let God know it.
Suzie: I think that is the one thing that we often fail to share with people, that God hears us when we praise him, but he also hears us when we don’t have the answers or we are afraid. Let’s take a U-turn. Is there ever a time when you can laugh about cancer?
Yvonne: I asked God to help me keep my sense of humor. The day my hair started to fall out, I went to work with wet hair. My colleagues thought I had a power outage. I told them I was afraid to blow dry my hair because I might blow it all off and arrive looking like a Buddhist monk.
I laugh now about how angry I was with God. I thought he had made a mistake. Now I understand he used the cancer for good in my life and the lives of others. I laugh every time I reminisce about George, my radiation therapist. He entertained me with stories about his childhood adventures.
Suzie: Do you live differently today as a result of having had cancer?
Yvonne: I’ve learned to listen to my body. When I get tired, I take a nap. When I’m thirsty, I stop and drink water. Short breaks from my work help me relax. A weekend at the beach revives me. I don’t put off my plans and dreams because “next year” may never come.
I signed up for a phone package with unlimited long-distance calls. Now I can call my family and friends any time. I appreciate the little things in life—thirty-minute walks to enjoy God’s beautiful world, a ride in my friend’s convertible, and sunrise and sunset at the beach.
I also left teaching to become a full-time counselor because I felt God leading me to do so. I’ve never looked back.
Suzie: You slowed down to take care of you and appreciate what is around you. Cancer is an emotional journey. You went through anger, through acceptance, and through gratitude. Did I miss anything?
Yvonne: I experienced denial. If I didn’t talk about the cancer, maybe it would go away.
I experienced anger at God, the government, the Food & Drug Administration, televangelists who preached health and wealth, and anyone who told me Christians couldn’t be angry with God.
Fear overwhelmed me after my diagnosis and at times during treatment.
Depression forced me to my knees in prayer. When I found out the cancer had traveled to one lymph node and adjacent to another, I became depressed.
Suzie: Do you believe that these emotions are typical for every cancer patient?
Yvonne: Not every cancer patient will experience all of them. However, these emotions are typical. Also cancer patients don’t experience one feeling, get over it, and then go on to another one. They can go back and forth.
Suzie: Maybe someone who is reading this today has just received a diagnosis of cancer. How do you trust God when the news is bad?
Yvonne: At first, I didn’t. I rode an emotional roller coaster before I arrived at trust, and then I fought to maintain it. I didn’t want cancer. No one does. I reminded God that he is my heavenly Father and I’m his child. Somehow I had to reconcile that with my pain and suffering.
I found promises in the Bible about peace, comfort, and courage. I claimed them and wrote them in a 3×5 notebook. Within days, I memorized those passages. I carried the notebook in my purse and reviewed the verses on the way to radiation treatment.
Suzie: What if the reader has a good friend who just found out they have cancer. What can people do to help friends who are going through cancer treatments?
Yvonne: Listen without judging them. Expect cancer patients to ride an emotional roller coaster. Send cards, post cards, or e-mail greeting cards, especially humorous ones. Phone and visit them. Prepare a meal for them and take it in a disposable container or help with yard work and house work. Buy groceries and run errands for them. Take cancer patients to their chemotherapy and radiation treatments and pray with them and for them.
Suzie: I will never forget what people did for me and my family during that time. Good friends helped me laugh by bringing funny cards or posters. Church members cleaned my home, mowed my lawn (10 acres!), took my young children out to eat and to fun events. They went to treatment with me. They fed my family. They truly were the “hands and feet” of Christ during a very difficult time. I still have all the cards people sent, and its been 16 years. : )
Okay, let’s end this with a different view of Yvonne Ortega. Sometimes art therapy is very helpful. If you could paint a picture of Yvonne Ortega, what would it look like?
Yvonne: It would be a petite woman, 5’ tall with short dark hair. Her dark brown eyes would gaze into yours as she talked about her passion for helping the broken-hearted. She would smile at the thought of summer weekends at the beach and flowers in bloom in her garden.
Suzie: Thanks, Yvonne. I’ve loved listening to your story.
If you have a question for Yvonne, send it to me and I’ll add a follow-up interview. Also, Yvonne will send an autographed copy of her book to one reader. Simply leave a comment or e-mail me about this interview and we’ll choose one person by the end of January!
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Hi Yvonne,
I’m so proud of you my friend, cyber sister, critique partner, and fellow cancer survivor. For anyone reading this, I have read this book and lent it out to friends currently going through the cancer rollercoaster. I totally endorse it.
Shirl (South Africa)
January 16th, 2008 at 8:19 amHi Shirl, I recognize you from TWV. It’s amazing how many breast cancer survivors there are out there, and what a sisterhood it is. Thanks for stopping by DTB. I hope you come back!
January 16th, 2008 at 10:02 amI enjoyed the interview with Yvonne Ortega. I loved her comment, “Be honest with God. He knows how you feel anyway. He loves you and can handle your thoughts and emotions without falling off his throne.” He is incredibly gracious.
Thanks,
Vicki H.
January 16th, 2008 at 10:02 amI was most impressed by Yvonne’s answer when you asked her if anything good came from her illness. She didn’t just answer “no” or “yes”, but that she’s a stronger Christian, a stronger person now. And she’s certain of God’s call on her life. How many people wouldn’t want to be a stronger Christian, a stonger person, and have an absolute certainty of your calling? But how many desire going through struggles, through cancer? What a great light at the end of your tunnel of trial to share with those still in the tunnel or about to enter! Thank you, Yvonne and Suzanne!
January 16th, 2008 at 5:49 pmWOW! What a great interview with my cyber friend, Yvonne. I especially appreciated Yvonne’s description of herself since we have never met. May this interview and Yvonne’s book encourage and strengthen many women struggling with cancer.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pmThanks Suzie! This is my first time to your site. I love it! I’ll be back!!!! God bless you! Ruth
Yvonne and I have been friends for 17 years. This petite lady is a powerhouse for the Lord!!! She encourages others with such love and sincerity through her book, website, interviews and personal contacts! Thank you both, Suzie and Yvonne, for spreading the message that there is hope for the journey through cancer!
January 18th, 2008 at 3:48 pm