Cup Half Running Over
June 26, 2008 | community
I’ve been accused of being an optimist. I believe it. I don’t see the cup half empty. I don’t see it half full. I see it running over.
Isn’t that a great thing, you might ask? Yes, but sometimes I need to step back and see life as others do. Because my cup half running over just might get in the way.
I was sitting in the airport on Tuesday. A young woman was sitting next to me. She was bashing the state of Oklahoma.
My state.
She had a Boston accent. She wore a T-shirt that said “whatever”, oversized sunglasses, big hoopy earrings, and she had long light-brown hair and a presence that said “listen to me”. She was passionate and talky, sharing her thoughts with whoever would listen.
“My La’wd, living in Oklahoma is the wurrrst. Everybody is on drugs. There’s simply nuthinnn to do. Maybe Tulsa is betteh, but where I lived it was the pits.”
My cup half running over wanted to correct her. I wanted everybody in the airport — or within listening distance — to see Oklahoma like I do. Beautiful green trees and hills. Lakes within driving distance in every direction. Skiing. Tubing. Hiking. And the people? Wonderful, of course. Warm and inviting. Kind.
She bashed and bashed and then bashed some more my beloved home land.
And then she said, “I had to go live theh when I was 17. My motheh was 34. She died and I had to go live with relatives I really didn’t even know.”
Bingo.
If I had spoke up, I would have missed the real point.
And to be honest, if I take my rose-colored glasses off for a second, there are people who struggle with a scourge of meth in our state. It affects families. It drives children into poverty and abuse and neglect. And if you are young and come from an urban setting, maybe skiing and really nice neighbors isn’t enough and we do need more access to the arts and fun things to do. And some still wrestle with racism and other social issues. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still work to do.
How hard was that for a young girl used to family, used to museums and music and urban life?
My daughter Melissa says I say “actually” a lot. When I hear something negative, I struggle against automatically saying, “well actually. . .” and proceeding to share the positive side of things.
I think that might be annoying.
It’s not that I want to veer to the dark side and suddenly see everything in a bleak light, but I do want the other perspective. What another person feels, or sees, or has experienced.
My cup will still run over, because that’s who I am. I tend to see the amazing aspects of life, even in the most difficult of times and experiences.
But today I feel like praying for a twentysomething who loved her mom and lost her, and had to live in a place that didn’t feel like home.
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actually, good post!
June 26th, 2008 at 10:56 amThanks Ryan. : )
June 26th, 2008 at 11:04 amSuzanne,
Thanks for visiting my blog. Thank you for the comment. See if I has a friend who was a writter, I would have you help me with writing.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:25 amDiane
wow suzie, that was nice for me to come home to and read this evening. you make such a difference in lives of so many. what a true blessing you are!
June 27th, 2008 at 12:04 amnice work…. i look forward to hanging out with you and your words in person..one week and a one day!!!
June 27th, 2008 at 12:06 amlove, leanne
Hey Jamie, You are awesome. You really are such an encourager. Maybe I’ve not told you that, but you make my day–so many times.
And hey LeAnne, I am looking forward to rafting and camping with you guys. And the message from Titus to Melissa was precious. I’ve now heard it three or four times. It’s just as fun the fourth time as it was the first.
Diane, it’s so nice to meet you. A chef? Oh girl, if you only knew how much I need your help!
June 27th, 2008 at 12:17 amWell put.
I miss Oklahoma.
June 27th, 2008 at 1:56 amHmm, I wouldn’t call myself an optimist but I do tend to see the other side of everything (wanting to defend everyone and everything). This is a good reminder to just keep quiet and listen to what people are really saying. It may not be true but it’s their truth for now. Great post.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:12 amKuddos to you for keeping it zipped!
I actually like optimist most of the time.
Great post.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:13 pmGreat post, Suz. I think sometimes the way you decide to see your life (half empty or over-flowing) becomes the way your life actually is. But this was a good reminder that sometimes life deals you some challenges.
June 27th, 2008 at 11:40 pmDiane cracked me up.
I’m constantly extolling the virtues of Oklahoma now that I live here. Good post. I quite often speak without hearing everything, especially what’s really being said. Now that I work with women with eating disorders, I’m really having to watch myself, stop and listen far more than respond. It’s tough!
June 28th, 2008 at 12:23 am