What not to say

June 5, 2008 | T. Suzanne Eller

I was reading a friend’s blog today. She lost her husband 11 years ago. LeAnn shares how to be a friend when someone you care about faces a great loss. It’s full of helpful information and gentle insight.

Sixteen years ago I found out I had cancer. I remember friends rallying around me, and making life easier for Richard, me, and the kids. But I also remember fielding comments from a few that brought me to my knees–literally. It seemed like my life had changed over night. The doctors shared harsh statistics. I was going through chemo and radiation. Financially we were juggling all the new medical expenses and lack of my income as I went through treatment. Life was suddenly scary, but I wanted to face it with faith and confidence.

Some didn’t know what to say, I think, so they said things like this: (more…)

And the winners are. . .

June 2, 2008 | Books

The winners of Lysa TerKeurst’s blog giveaway –a free autographed copy of Making It Real: Whose Faith Is It Anyway?–are: (more…)

Our “Good Mom” List

Nurturing Family

Before I had children, I had a Good Mom list. It read something like this:

• When I become a mother, I will not ignore my children.
• When I become a mother, I will not physically harm my children.
• When I become a mother, I will not scream or yell.
• When I become a mother, I will never humiliate my child.

It was all the things I promised I’d never do to my children. I ask this same question at every parenting conference, and moms add their wishes to the list:

• I won’t force my children to be something they are not
• I won’t tell my children that they are lazy or stupid.
• I won’t lose it!

While all of these are good things, a Good Mom list isn’t very functional. When your five-year-old has a meltdown in WalMart or your preteen screams, “I hate you”, you can whip out your Good Mom list all that you want. You can even stand in the aisle of the grocery store chanting, “I will not; I will not; I will not” while Jr. kicks your shins, turns red in the face, and threatens to hold his breath.

At that moment, you need to know what to do, rather than what not to do. (more…)