The Road Less Traveled: Forgiveness
July 5, 2008 | faith
I was talking with two friends about forgiveness. All three of us have dealt with this issue. One friend’s dad was an alcoholic. The other was sexually molested as a girl.
These close friends, and I, have moved on from the past, leaving those memories behind to pursue life and all that God has for each of us. We are writers and speakers. We teach on healing and wholeness. We have solid marriages. Families that are close and loving. Faith that transcends the events of the past.
But as we talked, I realized that forgiveness was still an issue, just in a different way.
“It’s the small stuff that gets me,” one friend said. “I’ve forgiven my past. I can forgive the big things. But someone can do something little and it makes me angry, and I don’t want to let it go.”
My other friend concurred, sharing a story about how she lost her temper with her family just that last week.
My conversation with my friends made me think about my own life. I consider myself a forgiver. I believe that I see the best in others. I’ve let go of the past, and I know the benefits. And yet, the truth is that I struggle more than I like to admit.
For example, several months ago I got frustrated over an offer someone made on our house. We were moving closer to the university where my husband is attending school. We put our home up for sale. I was already missing our beautiful acreage where my horses run and play.
The offer made was SO low that it was crazy insulting, and it instantly sparked anger inside of me. I get that. But the real question was: Why was I still thinking about it later that night?
It was a little thing. No sweat off my back. If they made a low offer, then say no and move on, but I took offense.
Then later that week someone called my home to make an appointment. They were abrupt, rude even. Again, my baser insticts kicked in. I wanted to be rude back, and had to pause and take a breath before responding.
The thing is, it takes a lot to make me angry. At least, I say that, but if these little things make me react with rudeness or impatience or if I’m still holding on to it hours later, maybe there’s still some work to do in my heart.
Today I studied in-depth on the word “forgive”. And I found that forgiveness has four very powerful meanings:
- To let go
- To give
- To cover or find shelter
- To cancel
When I walk as a forgiver–not just in the big things–but in the everyday little things of life, I give it up; I offer mercy; I find shelter in God’s wisdom; and I cancel debts–not just the big ones, but the little annoyances of my day.
F. B. Myer once said, “The great tragedy of life is not unanswered prayer, but unoffered prayer.”
So today I ask God to take this deeper, inviting the Holy Spirit to walk with me as I become a forgiver of the little things that trip me up on my way to relevant faith.
Suz
RSS feed for comments on this post.
The URI to TrackBack this entry is:
http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2008/07/05/the-road-less-traveled-forgiveness/trackback/
Suz, Thanks for visiting!
I like your post here. You’ve hit the nail on the head for me today. I think it’s the disrespect that gets my back up. Our society today has become less and less personal, and people are simply indifferent and in many cases, flat out obnoxious. I struggle to find a balance between being a doormat and just taking everything that someone dishes out, or at the other end, retaliating in anger.
I still think that being assertive without being aggressive is the best way for me to respond, but it’s hard because I’m not a quick comeback person. I’m a think-about-it first person, and react later.
I also hang on to those annoyances and resentments, and I’m going to remember what you said about being a forgiver in order to take my faith to the next level. Thank you for a thought-provoking post!
August 14th, 2007 at 7:45 pm