Stay true to yourself
July 17, 2008 | calendar, family, ministry life
I had a great time at the leadership conference yesterday. The audience was amazing and receptive. The women who put this together worked hard and it showed in every detail.
At lunch I listened to a keynote. She was engaging, funny, and a good speaker. But I struggled with her message.
She shared life lessons from her journey to a top CEO. Some of them were:
- *If you want to be a leader, you can’t make every ballgame, class party, or event for your child. It’s not fair, but it’s life. Get over it.
- *If you want to be a leader, dress for success - no heels (if you wear heels, make them “man heels”), less makeup, no long hair (high school hair), dress professional*Business is business — don’t take it personal
As I listened, I thought if that is leadership, then I don’t want it.
This post is not a critique of the speaker. She was great. She has succeeded as a leader in the business world. It has worked for her, and we are all diverse people with diverse methods. It’s the philosophy I can’t buy.
As a cancer survivor, I know that life is short – and life can change on a dime. You can be rolling along, dressing a certain way because it is expected, or changing who you are to fit in, or missing important events in the life of people you love because it will help you take a step on the rung of a ladder. And then in a heartbeat, you realize what matters and what doesn’t as it is all threatened to be taken away.
I will wear heels because I love shoes. I love red shoes and sparkly shoes and subtle shoes and flats and boots. I will wear clothing that is classy and sometimes comfortable and sometimes professional and it will always be me. I will be appropriate, but I won’t be a clone.
I will balance my professional life with my personal life. And I will treasure the events that may seem small, but are large when you realize how fast life passes you buy. I will invest my time in the moments that will matter the most when I am at the end of life and I look around to see what and who I treasure.
And business will be personal. If stepping up means that I take someone else down, I will find another way. I won’t lose my heart and compassion to gain success. I do believe, as the speaker shared so well, that we need to not take rejection or competition personally. If I do have to make the hard decisions, and I do, I will keep that person in mind.
Passion isn’t the vehicle we drive: our work, our volunteering, our parenting, our life. It’s staying true to yourself as you express who you are, what you can do, and accomplish your goals and dreams.
And I don’t want to change that to fit in.
Passion is the underlying theme of our lives. Our voice.
We’ll talk more about that tomorrow.
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This is a timely post. My husband, who has been with his company for 23 years, has quite suddenly been thrown into a situation that demands integrity enough to do the right thing - no matter the cost. There is a long, well-respected career on the line and a “set” retirement that might end up being a little less solid than planned. But, integrity demands that you stand for the truth and stay true to who you are in your core.
I think your true passion rings loudest and most clearly when your inner compass is always at True North and you stop look from side-to-side long enough to follow it.
Thanks for a great post - and for stopping by my little place in cyber space. :o)
July 17th, 2008 at 1:29 pmLove this, love this, love this. So true. Thanks, Suzie.
July 17th, 2008 at 1:45 pmSuzie - this speaks to me so much right now, you’ve left me in tears and almost speechless. It resonates with me to my very core - and is EXACTLY what I’m dealing with at this very moment. It’s almost as if we had a detailed conversation on this subject, and you replied to my very words.
Thank you so very much. You are such a blessing.
July 18th, 2008 at 5:20 pmI’d rather be unsuccessful at leadership and a great mom. That’s just me. Life is too short to focus on the unimportant. And if someone doesn’t appreciate me because of the “wrong” heels or hairstyle - GET OVER IT!
Great post.
July 19th, 2008 at 3:48 pm