The power of touch
August 8, 2008 | relationships
I just want to say a quick hello to the listeners of Along the Way, KTIS radio in Minnesota. Thank you for dropping by. If you have questions about the topic “The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above the Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future”, please e-mail me and I’ll post them anonymously along with an answer next week. Blessings! Suzie
When I was a teen I went to my first nursing home with a group from my church. Mr. Lollis loaded up a group of 20 or so every Sunday. We went to Braum’s first, then to the nursing home where we sang or visited with the elderly.
Often, I felt strange. When you’re 16, old people really are old. They reached for me, hugged me, and held my hand in their soft, veiny hands.
Now that I’m on my way to being an old person, I see those visits differently.
If I were to count the number of times I’m touched each day, the number would be high. The first thing that Richard does when he comes home from work is to walk through the house whistling until he finds me (sounds like he’s looking for a dog, doesn’t it?, but it’s just his way). When he finds me I am crushed in a hug. We hold hands when we walk. I brush my hand across his head gently when I walk past him and he’s watching TV.
If I see my kids, Josh opens his arms wide for a hug. Melissa sits close. Leslie will take my hand and run a thumb over my fingers while she talks. Ryan gives a sideways hug. Stephen wraps me tight. Kristin will lay her head on my shoulder if she’s sitting close.
My mom sat close the other day when I visited her, talking, running a hand over my back.
That’s a lot of touching, Suz.
Exactly. There’s power in the love language of touch. We do it without thinking. We receive it without thinking. It’s just there. Make a conscious effort today to notice all the times you touch people (or are 
touched) in subtle ways — a handshake, a quick hug, the fist bump, a lingering touch.
What happens when that goes away? Or when the only touch you receive is non-expressive touch, such as medical attention?
The reason that the elderly man or woman reached for me when I was a teen, or sat quietly with my hand in his or her own, is that it was a human connection that says, “someone cares about me”.
Last week I was talking to someone and she said she hadn’t been physically touched by another human being (in a loving way) in years. I reached out and pulled her close.
Today I received a cool facebook message from an old friend, who used to be a teen in our old youth group. She reminded me that I once told her to hug her mom. It took her nearly 15 years, but last week she went to her mom and gave her a hug.
In honor of that, I put up one of my all-time favorite Youtubes on my Real Teen Faith site today called “Free Hugs“. I hope you love it. I do. Click over there and check it out.
And then go hug someone.
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Very cool Youtube, Suzie! I loved it when the young people started getting into it — we can learn a lot from them, huh? Thanks for sharing.
August 8th, 2008 at 12:51 pmThis post is absolutely true, Suzie. We took our kids (with another couple) to visit a nursing home near us in January and those sweet people - oh my goodness! One lady insisted on having Gracie sit in her lap in the wheelchair, and then she made us laugh when she commented on what a heavy girl she was! (This coming from an 80 pound teeny tiny lady!) Those folks simply could not get enough of us! Lots of hugs, for sure.
You don’t think about how important touch is, until you really stop to think about it. Thanks for the reminder!
August 8th, 2008 at 2:21 pmWhat a great video.
I forget, often, how much touch means. I’m very tactile, but not fond of being touched. Meaning, I’m always reaching out to touch others, and fabrics, and walls and everything. But not fond of being touched. So I forget how necessary it is.
August 10th, 2008 at 4:04 am