time keeps on ticking
August 26, 2008 | Just thinking out loud,Nurturing Family
I sat on the bed with my daughter. She was in for the weekend to visit a friend. We started talking about when I was a young mother.
“What was it like?” she asked.
Crazy. Chaotic. Tears. Joy. Love. Messy. Poop, lots of poop. Fatigue.
All of these words instantly came to mind. I was 22 when Leslie was born. Twenty-three when the twins arrived.
Yeah, I know. Crazy family planning, except this was a deviation from the well-thought-out plan of one child every three years. I remember holding the twins in my arms for the first time. They were so different from my first. She was blonde and blue-eyed. They were dark and dark-eyed with dark hair.
The beautiful dark skin remained, but Melissa lost all her dark locks and the blonde hair and green eyed beauty emerged. Ryan kept his chocolate brown eyes and dark skin, but his hair was brown, like mine.
“Mom, what was it like?” she asked again.
“You know me. I see the good in the midst of the difficult stuff,” I said, smiling.
“No kidding. You, an optimist?” she said, laughing.
I remember holding her while she was nursing. Her tiny hand would stroke my face, pull gently at my lip, tug at my hair. Though I was a mom of three babies under the age of two years, this was a precious time that stood still as I bonded with my child.
I remember Ryan holding my face in both of his hands and giving me a sweet baby kiss. I remember Leslie sitting on my lap, asking a thousand questions, her beautiful blond hair nestled against my chest.
I remember walking through the pasture, our shovels (mine real, their’s play) over our shoulders to conquer the land in an “adventure”.
I remember seeing them climb up the steps to the high dive at the community pool, their little floaties on each arm making them invincible. Moms looked at me askew as I dog paddled in the middle of the pool and my two year olds and three year old jumped off the high dive into the pool. Maybe I was too young to know this seemed dangerous to other, more mature moms, or maybe I wanted my kids to be strong swimmers, unafraid of the depths as they dog paddled to momma and we swam to the side together.
All of them are strong swimmers today.
All of them are unafraid to take on the big stuff.
Maybe my ignorance paid off.
What was it like? Busy, and hard, and beautiful. And where did those times go? I remember thinking that the days crawled at times, and yet now it appears that they flew by and the grownups standing around me emerged in a heartbeat.
While I miss those baby kisses and tender times as a young mom, I treasure the friendship I have now with Leslie, Ryan, and Melissa–and Stephen, Kristin, and Josh (their newlywed spouses who I love as my own). It will be interesting to watch my children have children–one day, when they are ready.
And then I will ask, “what is it like?” as time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking into the future.
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What a sweet post!
I still have a few preschooler kisses to collect at my house, and he still strokes my hair when I carry him to bed. He’s done that since he was born.
The older ones are making new memories
August 26th, 2008 at 1:48 pmAhhh – such a tender, beautiful post. I remember thinking when my kids were tiny that I wanted to help them grow into independent, strong men. Well, now they are. We went through some tough, painful times together, but in the end, they’re independent and strong.
And one of them now calls me friend. The other one is still growing and finding himself, but I have hopes that one day, he’ll call me friend, too.
Beautiful post, Suzie. You have such a beautiful family.
August 26th, 2008 at 10:18 pmBeautiful!
Nostalgia is creeping in as I decide what things to toss from the box of baby “stuff” that I have hung on to all these years. I don’t see marriage in the near future (for either of my “boys”), but we’re moving to California (and I’m not taking it ALL with me). Maybe I’ll pick out a couple of things (smile!). I can’t part with their “coming home” outfits–no way, no how!
Baby days are crazy “daze,” but oh the memories of sweet milk and roses!
Thanks for the stroll down “Memory Lane”!!!
August 27th, 2008 at 2:07 pmI see what you meant now in responding to my “Sweetboy Goes To Hoosier Boys State” post.
August 27th, 2008 at 7:11 pmI have loved every single stage of my kids lives….truly!
Now we are moving on to having a young adult in the next year or so. It is a real pleasure to know him and to be his mom. In spite of me and my parenting foibles…he is an unbelievable young man!
Thanks for sharing Suzie….love all you do.