Dear friend. . .
October 27, 2008 | Dear Friend
You ask me why I dare touch such a hot topic in today’s political scene. After all, it’s a women’s right to choose. It’s private. It’s not right to push your opinions on others, you say. Thank you for your questions, for allowing me to be the one to listen.
I don’t often talk about abortion, but friend you asked the question so is it okay that I share my story?
My mom was 15 when she found out she was pregnant with her first. A young naval guy on her base told her he loved her. She believed him. Nine months later she gave birth to a sick child. Cystic fibrosis. She was far from home now. “You made your own bed; lie in it,” her mother said.
Her husband wasn’t faithful. He was abusive. She was fragile. She got pregnant again, giving birth to another little girl just in time to say goodbye to her first. When her little one died, her husband beat her, accusing her of not taking care of Pamela. What he didn’t understand is that at time they didn’t have the medical knowledge to extend the life of a CF baby.
He was gone for longer periods of time, some times months due to service. Other times, days, due to other women. She was not quite 20 years old, a mother twice over, without money, a phone, and at the mercy of an angry young man.
She fled one day, finding a place with a girlfriend, taking in jobs cleaning homes. She was as poor as ever, but safe and rebuilding her life.
He found her. He wanted to make their marriage work. He wanted her to come home. He wanted sex.
She said no to all of those. He made her give him at least one of them. It was violent. He left, this time for forever.
She found out she was pregnant. It was the worst of times; it was the worst of times. There was not “best” in this situation. Her remaining daughter was 3. She was 20. At nine months pregnant she walked out of the house, her water broken, a dime clutched in her hand as she looked for a pay phone to call for help.
She gave birth alone later that night in the hallway of a naval hospital. No pink balloons. No birth announcements. No loving family surrounding her. It was a difficult birth: a 9 lb. 13 oz. baby girl. Daughter #3 arrived.
I was that baby.
When I look at her circumstances she had every reason to terminate the pregnancy. But if she had ended that pregnancy, she would have ended me. And generations after me: Leslie, Ryan, Melissa.
That’s why I quietly oppose abortion. It’s why I am grateful that my mother allowed me to choose whether my life was of value, instead of her circumstances or my conception or the hard life we had after that.
Because I love life. I love being Suzie. I love being a mom. I love traveling around the w
orld to share my faith. I love hiking. I love being in the arms of Richard. I love everything that life brings, even if that meant that I had to go through the hard parts growing up, and there were many, to be here today.
Maybe you disagree and I hear you, but this is my story and I can’t change the facts to embrace the issue.
Thanks for asking the question. I love having this conversation w/you.
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Thank you for sharing. I recently wrote why I cannot vote for Obama in the upcoming election and your sentiments mirror my own.
http://typeamom.net/Conservative-Moms/Obama-s-Stance-on-Abortion-and-Right-to-Life-Voting-Charisma-or-Conscience.html
Not that I’m thrilled with our options – tend more towards Libertarian than anything I think.
Incidentally – My mother was the product of an affair and thankfully her mother was unselfish enough to allow a loving couple to adopt her. Thank God or I, and my three lovely children, wouldn’t be part of this world either.
October 27th, 2008 at 12:13 pmSuzanne, This is one of the most precious stories I have read. What an awesome case against abortion. I am passing the link to this to everyone I know and to every group where I’m a member. God bless you for writing this! Lynn
October 27th, 2008 at 12:21 pmHi Lynn and Angela, I’m still undecided about who to vote for, though this is one of many, many topics I am studying as I make my decision, but this is why I care about this particular issue–politics or no. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s always great to make a new friend. Suzie
October 27th, 2008 at 12:45 pmI stand with my sister on this one. My own mother was a 16 year old prostitute, earning money and trying to earn love at the same time. Had abortion been legal, I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this message to you. And my son and daughter wouldn’t be doing their homework and learning about this wonderful world they get to live in, and sharing Christ with friends who need to know.
All because one baby wasn’t born. Think of that when you vote this November.
October 27th, 2008 at 1:33 pmThanks for sharing your story. I had a woman tell me just yesterday that the pro-life movement is part of a right-wing dominionist plot to deceive Christians into following the anti-Christ. I’m not kidding.(Dominionists are people who think they can bring about the kingdom of God by voting in the right Christians. Therefore, anyone who believes in God, and is a conservative, according to her, is also a dominisionist.) If it weren’t so sad I’d be laughing. I should go back and get the link where she made the comment, but,I’m not out to humiliate her either.
She said she was sorry about the babies, but that we had a choice to either follow Jesus’s kingdom or the false ones the dominionists want to try and establish in America.
I know. A little too much longing for the sixties, I suspect. But I told her babies are not just some unfortunate by-product and how dare she even insinuate that my Savior would stand by while human life is destroyed. Jesus Christ is not a gut-less wonder.
Instead of the political-speak, whatever happened to right and wrong? This is life and death. People need to understand, this is NOT a gray area.
October 27th, 2008 at 4:15 pmNot long ago I posted about this important issue on my blog http://cherylbarker.blogspot.com/ (see Oct. 8 post if you’re interested). God’s Word has this to say: “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, ‘But we knew nothing about this’, does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it?” (Proverbs 24:11-12a). Yes, I think God expects His people to oppose abortion.
Suzie, my current post is about breast cancer awareness, another issue that I’m sure is close to your heart. If you have time, I hope you can check it out and join the conversation with your helpful insights.
October 27th, 2008 at 5:26 pmA Life Worth Saving…
Abortion is a hot topic and there are many people with many esoteric reasons to support their opinion. However, none of them hold a candle to the story of T. Suzanne Eller. Follow the link, because her story is simple, honest and a must read.
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October 27th, 2008 at 5:41 pmI love this story. It is not about politics or who is right and who is wrong. It is simply from the heart from someone who was loved enough to be brought into this world despite the immense problems set before them. People need to realize that no life is perfect and that children are a blessing even under the most horrific of circumstances, the baby is still a blessing. You are living proof of this and I love your testimony.
PRAISE GOD.
October 27th, 2008 at 5:51 pmThank you, Patrick. I agree with you. I think that as we share our stories, or even our opinions, we need to be compassionate and prepared to assist those struggling with hard choices. Thanks for visiting my blog today. I appreciate it.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:01 pmThat’s a powerful story, Suzie; I’m still wiping away tears. This month of “pink” has kept me on the road and I’ve heard stories of life, of death, and of hard decisions. We never know how the stories of our lives will touch a life just when others need to hear it. Thank you for sharing yours with us!
God bless you and your precious family!
October 27th, 2008 at 9:46 pmI became pregnant at the age of 19, unmarried. When I informed my grandparents, my grandfather told me he would pay for an abortion. I was so shocked, I screamed, “What if Mary had had an abortion?” and ran from the house sobbing. My relationship with my grandfather was never the same after that point. He had lost “hero” status in my eyes.
I married the father a few months later, and a few years later gave birth to my 2nd son. The marriage ended in divorce, but without it I would not have my two boys – and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Thank you for sharing your story, Suzie. You are a blessing to so many – I’m thankful your mom made the right choice.
I’ll be praying for you in the next few days – for the Lord to fill you with wisdom as you cast your vote.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:47 amSuzie,
Wonderful story. It hits close to home. My mom got pregnant when she was 17. The circumstances of her life and her relationship with the boy could easily have led to a different choice, but three weeks after she turned 18 she married the young man —-without the support of their parents. Several months later I was born. It was an incredibly tough life for them in the beginning, but they persevered and miraculously my parents are still married.
Thank you for sharing your heart through your amazing gift of writing.
Blessings,
October 28th, 2008 at 9:27 pmKelli
Yes, how true that is….I was asked to be married but said no and then he said he would give me money for an abortion, again I said no. Within a month, he left and has since fathered another child,our babies will be three months apart.
Life is too important, even if I have to struggle to make ends meet. There is a reason.
October 28th, 2008 at 9:59 pmWhat a great story, and I love the picture of the mommy’s tummy with the little one’s foot showing through – a classic!
October 29th, 2008 at 8:12 amGod does have a purpose for each life he creates. I grieve over what might have been for all the millions of babies that we have aborted. My own daughter was pregnant at 19 and unwed. Due to some major deformities he might have, she was advised three times to consider abortion. She firmly said no. Even though we were terrified with the pregnancy’s outcome, we trusted that God had a plan. Over five years ago, my first little grandson was born. He was a beautiful little fellow with no outward deformities, although he does have spina bifida with serious problems with that. But he is a wonderfully bright, articulate, and happy child. If we’d caved in to the doctors advice, look at what we’d be missing. I do believe God has a plan for this wonderful little guy!
Love your story. Maybe our stories, told whenever and wherever we can, when backed by the power of the Holy Spirit, will bring real change.
October 29th, 2008 at 8:51 am