Your child and faith
January 19, 2009 | Knowing Christ,Nurturing Family,Proverbs 31 Ministries,T. Suzanne Eller
Welcome to those who have come over from Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Renee Swope. It’s a hard thing when your teen begins to question their faith. And yet, it just well may be the beginning of their personal faith journey.
Consider a teen’s life span. What has taken place in the last 13 or 17 years? What are the norms of their society? Understanding their culture helps you grasp why they may struggle with the words, “just believe”.
How can they really know what is true?
The environment you grew up in does not reflect their reality. Today’s believing teen can’t just walk through their high school doors and call themselves a Christian. They are scrutinized. Their beliefs are challenged, not just by students but by adults and professors. So if they say they believe, they need to know why…
Which is why the questions your teen is asking isn’t necessarily a negative.
But Suzie, you don’t know my teen.
You are right, but I do know my God. I do know that He’s big enough for any teen’s questions. As a mom, as a veteran youth worker, I do know that OUR faith life is as critical, or more so, than any other words we can ever say when our teens are questioning their own beliefs.
What does your teen see in you? What does she hear you say? Do you have a church face, and then a different face at home? Is your prayer life vibrant? Who do you turn to in the tough times? Do you believe?
Right now is the time to believe that God loves your teen more than you. Right now is the time to trust that God uniquely stamped your son or daughter’s name on the palm of His hand. Rest in that.
But also encourage your teen to dig deeper. Let them know that God isn’t afraid of the tough stuff, or the tougher questions. Invest in resources and THEN let them pursue them on their own.
Continue to attend church as a family. Let your teen know that this is something that you, as a family, do to honor God. But understand that your teen must connect with God intimately on her own.
When she does, it will be real.
These are some of my resources for teens and parents of teens, but there are many more!
Resource for your teen: Making It Real: Whose Faith Is It Anyway? by T. Suzanne Eller
Resource for mom or dad: Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parent Needs to Know by T. Suzanne Eller
Real Teen Faith - Website where teens share devos, questions about life, faith, dating, relationships, tough issues, and more.
Real Teen Faith connects with 4,000 to 7,000 teens monthly on issues of real faith.
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Thank you for posting this. I had struggles with my now almost 19 year old son about attending church as a family. After turning 18 he turned away from God for awhile but somewhat came back on his own. We didn’t know God all his life so it was a bit of a challenge at times. It wasn’t until he began high school that we were attending church on a regular basis. I also have a 9 year old and what a difference it makes to have God in our lives at a much younger age. I struggle with guilt for my oldest son as I feel he has missed so much. Thank you for the great resources.
Have a blessed day.
January 19th, 2009 at 1:19 pmJust wanted to point out that I’ve been there for any moms reading the comment section, I was the questioning teenager.
I can’t tell you how difficult a journey it was. I’d been in a really bad situation and there were a lot of lies. Some truth but more lies that watered down the truth than anything else.
And it occurred to me that if I had believed other lies about God and what it means to be a Christian, than how did I know God really existed?
It was an incredibly painful journey but one that I’m glad my mom stepped back from and let me figure out for myself.
She asked an elderly friend what to do and the friend told my mom to “leave her alone. God will draw her to Himself. Don’t make her go to church or do anything. Just leave her alone.”
And you know what?
It worked. God did draw me back to Him.
I didn’t change over night. It took years but now at eighteen, I can tell you that my faith is mine. It’s not my local church’s and it’s not my parents’. To me, that means not only a personal relationship with God but that I’m basing my beliefs on the truths in God’s Word and not someone else’s belief system. So when the tough stuff comes, I know Who to run to. When life throws difficult questions at me, I know Who to ask.
If you have a teen struggling with her beliefs, I’ll be happy to talk to her. : ) And Making it Real: Whose Faith is it Anyway? is an awesome resource. It’s the book I wish I’d had at 13, when I started questioning whether God existed or not.
Debbie
January 19th, 2009 at 3:13 pmdiamond_1190@yahoo.com