Encouragement for Today: Rest (giveaway!)
April 29, 2009 | Books,Proverbs 31 Ministries
Is it really possible to have rest so that a woman and a mom can have energy and the focus to live a meaningful and joyful life? Keri Wyatt Kent, mom, wife, author, speaker, talks about what it means to slow down in a fast-paced society and dedicate one day each week to rest.
She shares her story of implimenting a Sabbath into her week and how it impacted her and her family and talks about her newest book, REST.
Suzie Eller: Keri, I would describe you as one of the most high-energy woman I’ve ever met, so I was intrigued to read your book, Rest. In it you talk about a concept called Sabbath Simplicity. First, can you explain what a Sabbath is?
Keri Wyatt Kent: Sabbath comes from the word Shabbat, which means to cease or to stop. And so Sabbath means to stop, whether the work is done or not. Sabbath is a day of rest. Sabbath Simplicity is a lifestyle where we work with full effort, but then take time to rest. Taking a Sabbath one day a week is a healthy practice, just like getting enough sleep, eating right and exercising–it helps us to function at a our best. On that one day, we rest, we reconnect with family and friends. We set aside our normal tasks to focus on our spiritual life, and relationships.
When my children were toddlers, I felt so tired that I would get angry. I was working as a freelance writer and also caring for two little children. I never got a day off. My husband had a demanding job, so all of the household chores fell to me. My resentment and anger was hurting my relationship with my husband and my children. I read some books that talked about Sabbath, and that started my journey.
Ten years later, I’m committed to resting one day a week. I also have delegated—-the job of running our home is now shared between all four of us—-healthy boundaries is a huge part of Sabbath Simplicity. It’s improved my spiritual life, my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my friendships, my mental and emotional health. I still do a lot, and work hard, but I also take time to rest.
SE: Is Sabbath something that is relevant today?
KWK: Completely! I think it’s more relevant than ever, because our culture is so hectic and stressed. We need rest more than ever.
SE: Can you share steps on how to find that rest in the hectic and real world?
KWK: The first step is to assess the current pace of your life—what activities have you and the people you live with said yes too. How hurried are you? You can’t figure out your next step, really, until you know where you are starting from.
You may have to get very concrete and write down your schedule and look at it. Because your activity level during the week is going to affect your Sabbath.
Second, choose a day that you will keep Sabbath. I recommend Saturday or Sunday, and go from sunset to sunset. The Old Testament Sabbath was from sunset on the 6th day of the week to sunset on the 7th day—although as I explain in detail in the book, their ancient calendars were different from ours.
Third, choose one thing to refrain from, one thing to engage in. For example, refrain from housework or running errands, and engage in reading a spiritually challenging book, or playing with your kids. Start with small steps, and think about building your Sabbath Simplicity life a little at a time, gradually. After a few weeks, add another thing you will refrain from, and another thing you’ll engage in. Pray and listen, let God shape your Sabbath practice. Make your relationship with him the focus. Allow yourself flexibility.
SE: Why did you start the practice of rest? How has your life and your family changed as a result?
KWK: Sundays in my house when I was growing up were mostly a relaxing family day, even though we didn’t call it Sabbath. But when I had my own family, I found myself getting very busy—not just with kids’ stuff but also getting over-involved at church. I tend to have a work-a-holic approach to life. When the kids were small, God brought a couple of books that mentioned Sabbath across my path. The idea of Sabbath stirred a longing in my soul, which is one way God speaks to us, through our deep desires. So I started, on my own, to set aside my normal work. It was very gradual, and it took my family a while to even notice.
It’s a mysterious practice, in a way, because to “do” it, you have to stop doing. It is simply resting—and yet it brings you into the presence of God. It’s been a profound part of my spiritual journey. And my children know that Sunday is a peaceful day at our house. They also have learned that I am available to play, to listen, to cuddle. It’s given us a day for quality time, and I think it’s helped me be a better parent. It also silently affirms to my children, you are loved, apart from your accomplishments. It is okay to just be.
SE: You say that taking a day of rest made you learn flexibility. In what ways?
KWK: Sabbath keeping is liike any spiritual practice: we need to let God lead us, to be teachable. That requires flexibility, by which I mean, being willing to let go of perfectionism. Sabbath Simplicity is a journey, and we’re learning as we go. There are times when I pray (another spiritual practice) that it just feels dry. I wonder if God hears me. But I don’t give up, just because I don’t pray “perfectly.” And as I keep at it, I have moments where I feel close to God, when I experience peace and connection. Sabbath is a practice just like prayer–you keep doing it, even if your plans for a restful sunday don’t turn out the way you expected.
And as you keep doing it, week after week, as best you can, you have more and more Sabbath days that are peaceful and restful.
Also, don’t go from not resting at all to expecting a perfect day of rest. slowly cut out things that you want to have a break from (say laundry or running errands). Build your Sabbath Simplicity lifestyle slowly, over time. Adjust as you go. My book has lots of practical ideas for how to do this.
SE: You’re the parent of a 12 and 14 year old. What does this look like for them? Do you restrict their activities on Sundays?
KWK: I have never legislated Sabbath for anyone else in my home. My kids have freedom that day to rest or to play or whatever. They know that I am available to listen or to talk. Sometimes we will play a board game, go for a bike ride or a walk.
My daughter has played soccer for ten years, and she sometimes has games on Sunday. But we are never running from one game to the next, because she is not in more than one sport at a time. (so in that way, we do restrict—they can do one sport and one artistic pursuit at a time, no more). As I said before, Sabbath is a day, but also a lifestyle.
We sometimes have friends over for a meal, or the kids have friends over. Those kids often remark—your house is so peaceful. I think Sabbath is a day to extend hospitality—but not in a stressful way.
My son is more introverted, so sometimes his Sundays provide him the freedom to just spend time alone, playing Legos or reading or drawing. My daughter is more extroverted, so she often spends time with friends. Her youth group meets during the 11:15 a.m. service at church, and from there they go to “house groups” which are a meal and group time. So a big part of her Sunday is spent in community with other students from our church.
SE: What is your favorite way to spend a Sunday?
KWK: It depends on the time of year. In summer, I love being outside: gardening, walking the dog, riding my bike, just sitting on the deck reading. I feel close to God when I’m outside. Some weekends, we are at my in-laws lake house, and we go sailing, water skiing, or just spend time with extended family.
In winter, my best Sundays include a walk or a workout, and then some time on the couch, drinking coffee and reading (The Sunday tribune or a good book), with a fire in the fireplace and Mozart on the stereo. If I feel creative, I might cook but I always plan ahead enough to have leftovers available for dinner.
SE: What advice do you have for parents trying to juggle hectic schedules? What about parents of small children?
KWK: Advice: Let your kids pick one sport plus one other activity (say, piano lessons) at a time. An important life lesson you need to teach your children: delayed gratification. You can’t have it all, all at once. You can try lots of different sports, one at a time. The more kids you have, the more crucial this is. Four kids in two sports each often translates into eight games per weekend, not to mention a least a dozen practices per week. Choose sanity.
Schedule housework and errands for weekdays, so if you do have sports, you’re not trying to squeeze in other work around games.
Substitute whole family activities for individual activities. Going for a bike ride or walk together, attending church, serving in your church or community together—these are ways to keep kids active but not running in different directions. It builds your family’s cohesiveness.
Do the housework together with your family the day before Sabbath to get ready. The day is more restful if the house is clean. And everyone should help keep the house from getting trashed—not just on Sabbath but every day.
Those with small kids—I’d say talk to your spouse. See if they are willing to take over things like diaper changes or middle of the night crying for just that one day. Your first Sabbath Simplicity step might be just deciding that one night a week, you’ll get a full night’s sleep.
One Jewish tradition is a family meal, which begins with lighting candles, prayer and saying a blessing over your children. Kids love rituals, and prayers of blessing can re-align our hearts.
Some families have a box of toys that only comes out on Sabbath, so that they are special. I have an entire chapter on “playing” which I think is a very important part of Sabbath with small children.
The most important part with little kids is to think of it as what you “get to” do on Sabbath, rather than what you “can’t do.” Reframe Sabbath in this way and your children will love it.
SE: How can someone who has a job that requires them to work on Sundays practice Sabbath-keeping?
KWK: Pick a different day. Many people I interviewed for the book (and some who gave me their unsolicited opinion) believe that Saturday is the true Sabbath, because the Bible says the “seventh day.” My question is, the seventh day on which calendar? Because the calendar we use now is not the one used in ancient times. In fact, there were many different calendars. I detail this in the book. I think the key is, pick one day a week, then keep that consistently, don’t change it week to week.
If you work a job with an irregular schedule, say like a firefighter or a pilot, you can be a bit more creative. Look at your schedule for the month and schedule in four Sabbath days, ahead of time. Keep those as if they were sacred—which they are.
SE: If this is a new concept for you, or maybe you’ve heard about it and want to know more, you can connect with Keri Wyatt Kent at her website or buy the book, REST, at Amazon.
Also, I’m giving one autographed copy of my book, The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future, on Friday morning. Just leave a comment on this post or any other and I’ll draw one lucky winner!
Keri Wyatt Kent is the author of six books and a co-author or contributor to several others, and is currently working on another book. When she’s not busy traveling around the country to speak and lead retreats, she’s writing. She’s a regular contributor several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman, MomSense and Outreach magazine, as well as the several websites and blogs. She’s a member of Willow Creek Community Church, where she has taught, led groups, and volunteered in a variety of ministries over the last 21 years.
She and her husband Scot have been married for 17 years and live with their son and daughter in Hoffman Estates, Illinois.
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Loved your devotional on based on Gen. 1:5! Gives me a different perspective on setting priorities!! Especially when I have 10 children!! Bless you and your ministry!
April 29th, 2009 at 7:18 amThank you! Prov. 31 is my morning devotions and like today the message is so often exactly what I need! I may try to have devotions in evening too since I am a working mom with a preschooler and mornings go by so fast! Blessings
April 29th, 2009 at 7:44 amGreat interview. I’ve read another book of Keri’s and shared it with a friend. Thanks for the giveaway, too!
April 29th, 2009 at 8:42 amWe keep the Biblical Sabbath from sunset Friday night to sunset Saturday night and I cannot tell you the blessing and the feeling of refreshment that we receive. I am even given extra energy to get all of my errands and chores done on Fridays, leaving nothing but rest and time spent with God on the Sabbath. All week long, we rush around, it feels like our bodies long for that sweet Sabbath rest. The fourth commandment, about keeping the Sabbath, is the only one that starts with “Remember.”
April 29th, 2009 at 8:46 amGod bless your ministry!
I really enjoyed this today. I have four children with an age span of six years. Life is really hectic now, with them all small. I hear it only gets more hectic. I am going to put this Sabbath day into practice. We already take naps on Sundays, but I need to be sure that I don’t MAKE anyone do anything, you know? I really need to enforce the whole family helping clean the house. It is totally trashed most of the time, and you’re right, it’s hard to rest on Sunday when the house is terrible. This was just what I needed today.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:48 amI really enjoyed this interview! I was rushing through this morning but took the time to stop and read my devotional for the day and I am so glad I did as it led me to this interview. I read a few things in this interview that I needed to hear!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:02 amThank you so much for writing this. My husband and I have recently opened our hearts to the idea of expanding our family of four. Learning more about simplicity is such a treasure to me. Thank you again for your words of wisdom!!!!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:04 amTo not live a hurried life 7 days a week seems impossible right now. To spend quality time with family and friends without that nagging “to-do list” on my mind would be a dream come true. All things are possible with God and you have given a shining example of that with your interview today!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:21 amYour devotion was timely for me today, as I pack to leave for my first speaking engagement and try to hold fear and anxiety at bay. I am confident that God’s whisper of direction will be there for me…so thanks for reminding me to stop and listen for it.
I will be staying with a family member who just had a cancer scan and is awaiting the results. There are so many things running through my mind. What will I say to encourage this loved one should the news be not what was hoped for? Life is swirling around so quickly, but His song is ever-present, ever-powerful, and ever true. Rest in Him….and there we will find the answers to the biggest challenges we will ever face. Thanks, again, for showing me that today!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:32 amThank you Proverbs 31 for directing me to this interview this morning. My husband & I have had many conversations about this topic recently. My husbnad has been convicted to stop eating out on Sunday. That has been a regular after church activity for our family. I’ve been wresting with slowing down and obeying God’s Word on how to honor the Sabbath. Thank you for your words of clarity on this subject.
April 29th, 2009 at 9:32 amI love finding P31 in my inbox when I get to work in the morning. I take a few minutes and read it over a cup of coffee and it helps me focus for the day. Thank you for this dicussion of Keri’s new book. I have another of her books from MOPS – and can’t wait to read this one.
April 29th, 2009 at 9:45 amI am in tears as I write this. I am a teacher with a busy life and busy family that seems to never slow down. I have had the Lord whispering “Rest” to me for over a year now. I have been struggling to know what He means. Last September I contracted Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a rare auto-immune disorder that has brought my life to a halt this year. I am recovering and look to going back to the classroom next fall. But, even with months of physical rest, I still struggle with the concept of what the Lord means by “rest”.
Today’s devotion is manna from heaven for me. It is as if I am finally getting an understanding of the Lord’s “rest” and realistic ways to practice it. God has brought clarity and and peace to me through your wisdom today. Thank you.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:03 amThank you Suzie for sharing I look forword to reading P31 every day .What i most liked about todays message is that it hit home with me .I was diognosed with breast cancer about 3 weeks ago and have had a lumpectomy I will have to have chemo and im not looking forward to it.What i am looking forward to is what God has planned for me. I know he will not give me anything I cant handle.Just hearing that you have gone through it helps me.Im going to try and buy that book(Rest) cause it is sooo hard for me to sit still and rest my mind .Again I know God has a plan for me and reading your message today inspired me.I will try the Sabbath.And for Kelly Langston I pray for her family member that all comes out ok.My prayer is to Declare that God is faithful and I believe that he will make a way where there seems to be no way I pray that your family member is filled with peace only God can give. IRENE.V.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:27 amHi ladies, This spoke to me too. May is my busiest month – graduations, weddings, deadlines, and more. Sundays have always been a time of rest for me, along with worship and connection with those who love Christ. But the last two Sundays were busy and paced so fast that rest got lost. I’m reclaiming it for this Sunday. Love hearing your stories. I think many of us find ourselves in that fatigued place and we begin to search for balance. I’m grateful to Keri for her wisdom and realistic advice.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:36 amAs a mother of two small children I feel like I am going one hundred miles an hour all day. I seem to never find the time to rest. After reading this today I realize how much I need to rest and reflect in the Word.
Thank You for this very important message.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:41 amI am always amazed at how God’s timing is so perfect. Your devotion today really spoke to my heart. Thanks!
April 29th, 2009 at 10:43 amThanks for this much needed topic to be addressed in my life, with two small children and another on the way, rest is definitely something I usually neglect! God is Good – so good to remind me that I need REST with HIM…and not dictate what others do in my home for their “sabbath” day!
April 29th, 2009 at 10:52 amThank you so much for devotion today, I too busy my day and forget about evening!! Thank you again
April 29th, 2009 at 10:58 amSuch great ideas….thank you! The days that I actually let my to do list slide and enjoy other things are very favorite days. Always balancing; such is the life of a mom!
April 29th, 2009 at 11:32 amRest is SOOO important! Finding Rest in GOD is KEY!! My husband has a CD just releasing with a track called REST. I think it captures the themes of this book well. And yes, I have read the book. Twice now. Rest IS VERY IMPORTANT!!
April 29th, 2009 at 12:02 pmSongs will be posted soon! For CD pre-release check out
http://www.jeffabercrombie.com
Have always been drawn to the idea of keeping a Sabbath, but find the thing I would like to do is get out of the Kitchen…hard to do for family of 6. My daughter told me one of her friends was not aloud to homework on Sunday. That is a good anti-procrastination idea to. Love to read the book…
April 29th, 2009 at 12:31 pmAwesome post!! Thanks!
April 29th, 2009 at 2:19 pmI like the ideas, but it will be a challenge and process to implement them. I appreciate prayers from anyone who reads my comment.
Thanks!
April 29th, 2009 at 3:01 pmRhea
gallerhea@yahoo.com
This is a neat concept! When I stopped working full-time after my first baby was born, I tried to set Sunday apart as a resting day, which I’d never been able to do before. I like the way that this woman has detailed it, and I want to learn more about her plan!
April 29th, 2009 at 3:22 pmThank you. Lots of practical advise on how to slow down.
April 30th, 2009 at 6:48 amA single working mother of five and now a grandmother of 9 with one on the way I still struggle with a day of rest. All of my children are grown with families of their own. I would like to find this book to pass on to my children. Thank you!
April 30th, 2009 at 11:52 amThank you for your wise words – I have four children aged 2 through 7 years old, and life gets so crazy most days! I hope to put into practice several of your points – getting laundry done before, or not doing it on, Sundays; making a priority to get a full night’s rest, etc. It’s wild how such simple things could make life so much easier to cope with and enjoy!! Pray for my discipline, please. Thanks for the reminders!
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April 30th, 2009 at 8:34 pm