the beauty of friendship
October 5, 2009 | Just me
We met David and Faith in Lamaze class.
She was blond, chatty, and beautiful. We were both 8 months pregnant with our first children. A friendship developed that has spanned since. Those babies, Leslie and Jarrod, will turn 28 in a couple of months.
We raised our kids together. We spent a lot of Friday nights playing cards, cooking, playing with our kids. But as time passed, our lives took separate paths. They lived in one city, we lived in another. Faith and David and their kids were into competitive horse shows and events. We were sitting on benches watching kids playing soccer and basketball.
We saw each other infrequently: weddings, special events, the hard times–when I found out I had cancer. If you were to ask either of us, we would say we were really great friends, but getting together just seemed hard.
I’ve been in a goal making process these past three months. As I sorted through what really matters, one goal surfaced: friendship.
Have you ever been so busy that friends fall to the side? You think about them. You love them. When you do connect, it’s good, but actual time with them is not really happening? Sometimes it seems my life is so full with ministry, family, writing, my home church, travel. I love my life, but I also love my friendships and somehow that aspect had been squeezed out.
So I’ve made a couple of goals in this area. They are not overly ambitious, but it does include making time for friend time with old friends and perhaps even developing new friendships.
This weekend was a reminder of what I have been missing.
I didn’ t mean to cram a couple month’s goals into one weekend, but it just seemed to work out that way.
Lissa is a writing friend. Three years ago she and her husband moved from Colorado Springs, CO to Siloam Springs, AR, just 45 minutes away. We’ve e-mailed back and forth and tried to make plans, and this weekend was free for all of us!
We spent Saturday hiking with Lissa and Rich. We hiked up Sparrow Hawk trails and chatted while we caught our breath and enjoyed the beautiful view from the bluff. Lissa and I talked nonstop about writing: the struggles, the fun, the challenges.
Goal accomplished! Amazing friend time.
By coincidence, another friend had asked us to come watch our beloved Sooners game with her and her husband this weekend, but we didn’t think it was possible. When Rich and Lissa left we realized that the game didn’t start for an hour, so we jumped in the car and drove an hour in the other direction. We ate, laughed, was grieved over the loss to Miami by one point, and played a few games of ping-pong (guess who won!).
After church on Sunday we spent time with family. As we were driving home we just happened to be in a familiar area.
“Let’s stop. Just for a minute,” Richard said.
How could we pass David and Faith’s home and not stop in?
That “minute” turned into three hours. Jarrod was there with his one-year-old son. He wanted to hear stories about when he was a little guy. He lit up when we told him that Jace reminded us of him.
David and Faith now have four grandchildren by their two oldest sons, and we marveled at how busy their home was as kids (and grandkids) stopped in an out to say hello.
We walked outside while their menagerie (I counted at least 8 dogs and four cats and lots more horses) followed us around.
It was as if time hadn’t passed. Though Faith is a young grandma, she’s still blond and striking. Going to her house was a treat when my children were small. We never knew what to expect. She always had new kittens in the barn, or a new colt in the pasture. She lives life filled with animals and people, and wouldn’t have it any other way.
As we drove home, I was tired. It was a FULL weekend. But filled with good things–laughter, talking, catching up, knowing that even though lots of years had passed that bond was still there, and creating new bonds with new friends.
We’ll try to space it out a little, but friendship is definitely a worthy goal–and one I won’t let slip away quite so easily this time.
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of the beauty of friendship.
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Wow, I love this post. Looking back over my life, faces of lovely, special friends pass through my mind. They all had different gifts that I needed at the time. We shared seasons of life together. And the family/couple friends are just as precioius. Laughing and singing and crying and talking and playing together … we couldn’t have a very rich life without the blessing of relationships. Such a gift from God. Thank you for your wonderful stories.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:04 am