Dear friend: just take one step
May 27, 2010 | Faith: Knowing Christ, Q&A: Dear Friend
Many of the comments and behind-the-scene e-mails from Tuesday’s Encouragement for Today devotion weighed heavy on my heart this week, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I took them to prayer. I want you to know that I prayed for every request that came in, and if they seemed so big that I didn’t know how to respond I shared them with my Proverbs 31 prayer warrior sisters.
This was one e-mail (paraphrased to protect her privacy):
Dear Suzie: Thank you for your blog post and devo. I have no words. It is comforting to think that I can simply go to Jesus even when I don’t know what to say. But I want you to know my story. I’m depressed, or at least every one I know says I am. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything. I read about the comments on your site and I think I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. My life isn’t hard because of other people or even my situation, but I’ve fallen into a funk and I’m digging a deep hole that I can’t crawl out of. So, no words. No motivation. No energy. What do I do?
Dear Friend,
I won’t pretend I know how you feel, but first let me say how couragous you are to share this with me. That’s one step. It’s putting it out there and tangibly looking at it and calling it what it is. Acknowledging that it exists.
You say you have no motivation, and I believe you. I hear you. I hope you’ll hear me. When we fall into a funk, whether that is depression or just a series of days or weeks where lethargy seems to be all we can handle, at some point we have to take a step regardless of our feelings. Regardless of motivation.
One step is to climb out of isolation. I went to church last night. I haven’t been on a Wednesday night in a long time. The reason I went is that I needed people. What I wanted was to climb in a chair and wrap myself in a blanket and veg out. But I’ve learned that when I fall into a funk that it’s not the healthiest place to go. You and I and others need a dose of people rather than complete isolation. When I went to church I didn’t expect that seeing friends would do so much, or that hearing the Word and taking it in would mean so much, or sitting at the back of the church soaking in the music would hit such a deep spot inside of me. But it did.
The second step is to begin to talk to the Lord about this, to take in His word, even if in small doses. It’s almost backwards, but when we begin to “eat” spiritually: praying, reading, finding a still and quiet time just to meditate on His word, or soaking in worship, it ignites hunger.
This isn’t just another person saying “read the Bible because you are supposed to”. It’s coming along side saying that I believe that there is power and healing and transformation when we move toward God. It’s so opposite of physical hunger, which is the more we eat the less we are hungry. The more you fill yourself up spiritually, the hungrier you get and it’s a good hunger, one that moves you away from those things that keep you trapped. It is a physical step toward the light as you pick up the Bible, or you sit quietly with God, not expecting anything but simply going because He is reaching for you.
Last, if the funk continues, please take a step toawrd talking to someone. Not someone who will give you easy answers, like just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, blah, blah, blah. But someone who believes in the power of what God can do, but also can give you tools to help you as you grow and stretch and reach for who you are.
I am praying for you today, dear friend. I believe in you.
Suzie
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Great…. this is wonderful. Thank You LORD!
May 27th, 2010 at 12:05 pmSuzie,
May 27th, 2010 at 3:23 pmReading this I felt kindredness with this person who you wrote to. This could be me – heck, it was me not long ago. Funny thing is that I still find the sporadic potholes of life that trip me up and I find myself leaning into that hole this woman wrote you about. What you told her is dead on and I can’t express enough how finding someone to talk to and get tools from helps so much. The trick is: don’t give up…press on, even when you think it isn’t helping. Remember that God said He’d never leave or forsake us. We are the ones who left our First Love; we must return to Him. Don’t give up…
Like Wendy W.,I could have easily written you that letter and more. Between the ages of 15-30 I rode a roller coaster in and out of depression. I attempted suicide 3 times and I can say the only thing that removed those thoughts from taking root was Christ. The advice you give to “just take one step” is right on. Now days when I feel the funk coming on I can only think about that one next thing. Whatever that next thing is once I do it I mark it off my list so I can see that I did accomplished at least that one thing. The writer of this letter will be in my thoughts and pray as she move to make that one thing happen.
May 27th, 2010 at 6:59 pmSuzie,
Thank you for writing this. I just hopped over here from an email you sent me. I wasn’t expecting it and it feels so great to have someone who doesn’t even know the whole story to say they are praying for me. What you wrote has just reminded me of what I need to be doing more of and that is praying and reading God’s word.
I know all too well how this lady feels, but I also know that with God’s help I can get out of this low point or “funk.” It’s going to take time and a lot of prayer for it to happen.
Again, thank you so much for praying for me.
Jennifer
May 28th, 2010 at 7:59 amJust one step….what beautiful advice. One step can feel like a million. I don’t have any wise words, but I myself have found comfort through recent troubles in the words in Romans 5:1-10… but especially verse 3…
” 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
Praying for your friend!
May 28th, 2010 at 3:21 pmHi,
Two people posted on Facebook a summary of your letter about depression. I am there…last week I felt like I couldn’t even carry a conversation without crying. I just wanted to stay in my room and pull the covers over my head. Thank you for the wise words and please pray and believe along with me that God will pull me out of this miry pit. Thank you!
June 7th, 2010 at 8:11 pmThank you so much for this post. It really hits home for me. I have been in and out of my own pit for a little over 4yrs now. Some days, it takes all i have to see any light from the pit and other days i can see more light.
June 7th, 2010 at 8:13 pmAgain,Thank You,
Melissa
I’ve been in a major funk since November. Feeling hopeless, isolated, and as if God doesn’t care about me. I could write a loooooong list of circumstances that keep me down, but I won’t. I wonder if God keeps me down because he knows that if things get better, I’d leave him behind. I want a caring, normal husband, who is anxiety-free and will work hard and want us to have a good life. I want to shine for God–someone told me the other night after I sang in church that God shines through my pain. But I don’t want anyone to know I’m in pain. I want my kids to have a mother that doesn’t cry and wish for normal lives for them. It’s so bad that I ask God frequently why he gave me these wonderful, beautiful, smart children to mess up…they would be better off with a different type of mother. That’s what I want on this earth more than anything. A happy family. I’ve been crying for almost two weeks, since a friend of mine died suddenly. She was 40, and had an adopted son and a wonderful husband. We talked a lot, and I was just beginning to be able to open up to her about things, but I was still keeping the most shameful things to myself. I don’t trust people. And the few times I’ve opened up to Christians, they don’t seem to believe me, so I keep my unbelievable life to myself. I never knew there were people in the world like my husband, his mother and his sister. And they make me miserable. I have tried and tried, esp over the past few years, to hope in God, stay focused, and know that there’s a plan in all of this mess. But one little thing set me off last fall, and now, well, I just don’t understand why I have to stay miserable on this earth in order to be close to God…
I appreciate this post more than you know. ♥
June 8th, 2010 at 11:34 am