{{giveaway}} My Mother’s Hands
July 1, 2010 | Family: Nurturing Family
If you came to visit me today after reading Encouragement for Today, welcome!
My mom is in Canada and I miss her. I miss talking to her as often as I did only three months ago, but I miss seeing her more.
If you know our story, you know that there was once a time that our relationship was broken. My mom was fractured, and her pain fractured those around her. It’s not what she wanted, but generations of brokenness had left her without the tools.
But today when I see her, I see what God can do. In my book, The Mom I Want to Be, my mom joined me as I wrote. I put the project down several times through the process. It was painful for her.
I thought: Years have passed. If I help women and hurt my mom in the process, it’s not worth it.
And yet my mom perservered. “Let’s do it again, sis.”
And that’s when I started to see God’s hand. I saw my mom’s courage, a woman who could be fragile, and yet so strong. A woman in the process of healing. A woman who, when I said “this is too hard”, said, “we can do this.”
For many years all I could see was my own past, that of living with so much chaos.
And then I saw her past. A little girl molested at a young age. A mom at the age of 16. Losing her first child at 18. Pregnant again. Leaving an abusive relationship, only to be found and hurt again.
And then, together, as I wrote and she read, and as she shared bits and pieces of her life in the foreward to each chapter, I saw who she had become, and who she was becoming.
And it was beautiful.
My mom asked for several copies of the book before she left for Canada. She hands them out to young women, older women, anyone who she feels may need to see that God can heal people, and fractured families.
She’s not ashamed of her story, nor am I. It’s not a book of pain, or it wouldn’t be written. Instead it’s a story of how to move forward when you don’t know how, how to forgive, let go, heal, give your child something better than you received, and to see who you are in spite of your mistakes or the mistakes others made when raising you. It’s a glimpse of what God can do.
I love, love what God can do.
These are my mom’s words:
I had such a big hole in my heart. I didn’t know how to forgive those who had hurt me or how to forgive myself. I was carrying all the bitterness and hangups. I was a mess. I was suicidal.
Then I found God’s love. Until that time I felt undeserving of anyone’s love. I finally realized that I had something of value. My life was of value. I had children, and they were gifts to me, not burdens. They were my life, my love, and my heart.
I started to let the guard down in my heart and let the healing begin.
Isn’t she beautiful?
Yes. Yes, she is.
On Monday, I’ll give away five copies of The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future! Leave a comment for a chance to win. I’d love to hear from you, regardless.
If you want to say hello to my mom, I’ll make sure she comes this way today.
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My mom and I are friends. I am so glad that I can say that. Thank you for the devotional reminding me to always spend time with her and talk with her no matter how busy like gets. I also need to remember to thank the Lord for the gift of my mom.
Thank you!
July 1st, 2010 at 7:47 amthank you for the reminder to spend time with my mother – my daughter will learn that by seeing me do it. Thank you
July 1st, 2010 at 7:58 amMy relationship with my mother was broken too. God has changed her life in the past couple of years. It is still a process to realize she is not the woman she used to be and draw close to her. Thanks for the encouragment. Hearing you say you miss the time with your mom gives me hope that I will one day feel the same way and our realationsip will be fully healed.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:01 amMy relationship with my mom is great! We laugh and cry together and she has taught me great strength comes from the Lord. I try to spend at least once a week with her as I am very close to my family. I am lucky enough to have her 10 minutes from where I live and also to have my son spend the summers and to help his grandparents. Thanks for the reminder!
July 1st, 2010 at 8:13 amWhat a timely devotional! I am preparing a supper party for my Mom’s 83rd birthday this weekend. As one of six children – anytime we get together is an “event”! But I decided that I should invite her closest friends to come too. She has told me several times that she is so excited about the party! I won’t always have her…and I realize more and more that I need to cherish the times that we have together. Thank you for your encouragement. Seize the opportunities. May God bless your ministry.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:14 amI know I take my mom for granted and don’t show her enough time. I love her dearly she was always there for me and I thank God for that.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:14 amIt’s so easy for our loved ones to “get lost in the shuffle”. Thanks for the reminder to move them up to the top of our list!
July 1st, 2010 at 8:17 amI have learned much by how hard my mom works. I realize now as I am older that she shows her love for me by feeding my family every Sunday at lunch and giving me the extras. I work in the garden for her, but she cans for me. She is 80 this year and I want to appreciate every moment she has left. Thank you for the reminder.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:30 amMy mom was my very best friend – either talked to her or saw her every day, we helped each other with everything. She is now in the late stages of Alzheimer’s living in a nursing home. As the youngest of 4 children and the POA it has been a long journey for the past 5 years – but the Lord has given me such peace and grace with the difficult decisions I have had to make. I tell everyone to please take the time to cherish and appreciate every single moment you can with your mother even if it is sometimes a difficult situation. The Lord will bless and not give you any more than you can handle if you learn to lean on Him. Now when I visit with her all I can do is hold her hand and see her smile…it is a blessing.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:33 amI have watched my mom throughout my life. She is always doing something for someone and thinking of others before herself. Watching her caring for my father after having a stroke, who passed away several years ago and becoming even stronger in her faith. My mom is an example to me of how to work hard, put others before myself and keep going during the hard times. Her love for her family shows in all she does. She is an inspiration.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:36 amMy mom does not speak the same love language as I do, so there are many things lost in translation in our relationship. I have seen her basuically offer her life up to bail out my brother who never learned to appreciate anything or undestand that actions have consequences. It has made me very angry and hurt that he seems to do nothing of true value, and suffers little to no consequences–my mom makes sure to ride to his rescue. He and his wife really are so caught up in worldly things, they have no time for us or to teach their some about the love of God in Jesus Christ. My parents have basically bankrupted themselves and their retirement to help them, and they seem not to care about the damage they have done.
She was tougher on me. When I made some poor decisions, there were
times she left me to suffer the consequences of my bad life choices. I am a mom myself these days–my beautiful 15 month old son is such a blessing, even now, as he starts to become more of his own person, and more of a challenge. Looking back now, I know that letting me go my own way without backup must have been impossibly difficult to do. I did write a big thank you letter to my parents about these times, because they have made me tough and resillient, and, in the end, forced me to go back to my faith and trust God to get me through anything. I had hoped that maybe that would let her know that it is okay to let your child feel the pain of what his bad decisions have reaped.
I have tried to talk to my brother and his wife to make peace, but they are oblivious–she will say the right words, but walks away unchanged. her actions clearly state that she doesn’t value me or my family. My mom has dealt me some hurt, too. My dear mother does not desire true peace–she just wants everybody to pretend nothing is wrong. I am pretty stuck with all this. I am the only really active Christian in my family–my husband and I go to church regularly, I read my Bible daily and spend some time with God. Thank the Lord for my good husband!
When I get to the point that my frustration turns to anger and I want to lash out, I remember my good friend–her brother drowned when they were kids; and my good husband–his mom passed away from cancer when he was a teenager. My mom and brother are still here–so hope is not completely lost.
This issue has caused a lot of pain in my life, and I am not sure when or if it will be resolved. I do not want to pass that pain on to my son. Thanks for sharing about your mom and her hands!
July 1st, 2010 at 8:45 amSuzanne, I had to smile as I read your devotional today. As a mom who has barely seen her daughter since her wedding last August (she lives 10 minutes down the road, but that’s 2000 miles in newlywed distance
I have been reveling in the fact that my daughter has been coming over at least a couple of times a week now that she is pregnant.
She even asked me, instead of one of her friends, to go shopping with her for maternity clothes. I understand your mother’s giddiness in making those plans with you
July 1st, 2010 at 8:46 amMy realationship with my Mother is broken. I have tried to repair it and it worked for a little while. Then my stepfather and her got divorced and she left us all behind. I can’t keep letting her hurt me but more importantly I can’t let her hurt my kids. I have always longed for a mother that was there for me,that cared for me.At least I have my grandmother.She is like a mother to me and she is absolutely wonderful.God knew I would need her.All I can do is pray for my mother. Pray that she will find her way back to God and be a good mother to my children.I have a hard time dealing with the past.Please say a prayer for me and for my mother.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:48 ami would love to read your book. My mom and i are not close like most mom’s and daughters. I love her but her choices were not the best and it seemed they were all about her. Now she is in the nursing home and i have to be the parent alot of days i am angry and crying why me why do i have to do her laundry and pay the bills and take her to the doctor. it’s not fair.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:51 amOn Amazon, you can read several pages of my book at no cost. Simply click on “See Inside This Book”. http://amzn.to/aGWvEf
TIP: If you want to read a specific topic like forgive, or perspective, or letting go, or learning from the past, etc. simply type in those keywords and it will show you different pages that talk about those issues.
I appreciate the honesty of your comments. Healing is messy (I blogged about that just this week.) It’s hard, but it’s doable. And even if your parent isn’t whole or healing, you can move forward. I had to, for me and for my children, long before my mom started her journey.
Seeing her find her way was an unexpected, but amazing, gift.
July 1st, 2010 at 8:57 amI never really got to know my Mom because she passed on when I was almost five… Although, I did have step-moms.. The first one lied to my Grandma and told me and my grandma both that she was going to the Post Office to mail a letter, she could have very well took me and my brother with her to the Post Office because it was only a block or two away from the route to get to Grandma’s…. She said, “I will be right back”. Well, what she did do was hop on the bus in Gaylord Michigan and went back/to Detroit, Michigan.. I was just passed five yrs. old by then… It took many yrs. B4 my Dad was able to afford and divorce… I did have another Step-Mom after who was not the best in the world, but, we all have some faults and I can say that I did learn many things from her… She is no longer with us as well as my Dad is no longer with us…. May their souls rest in peace…I have two step-sister’s and my brother left and I try to commute with them as much as I can..
July 1st, 2010 at 8:59 amI have just started reading you a few weeks ago and have enjoyed it. My mom and I mostly get along but we have lots of fights and go without speaking for months at time. I believe most families have some type of issues to deal with.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:12 amI loved this devotional. I grew up mostly with my Dad after my parents divorced. So I did not grow up close to my Mom. When my boys were born my Mom kept them so I could work. This greatly enhanced my relationship with my Mom. It gave her a chance to relieve her guilt for not being able to be close to me while I was growing up. My Mom wanted to be with us but my brother needed a father and my parents were mature enough to make a decision that benefitted my brother and I. They did not want to separate us. Anyway, I often get so busy with my life that I forget to stop and spend time with my family. thanks for reminding me what is the most important part of life – relationships! It is what God wants with us and for us.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:16 amThanks for sharing today’s message…it’s just where I’m at.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:16 amWhat a beautiful story. Unfortunately, my mother and I were never really close. She was very bitter. I did not know why until I was in my 20′s and still do not know the whole story. I truly wish I would have come to know the true grace of God before she passed away. I now struggle with being a kind mother to my children. I would love to read your book.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:17 amMy mother passed away 5 years ago this month at the age of 92. She was always making beautiful quilts, pillows, foot stools
July 1st, 2010 at 9:23 amHello,
Your story is very encouraging, I hope that I can meet my mother one day and have a relationship like yours.
Stay blessed!
July 1st, 2010 at 9:37 amI’m not as close to either of my parents as I am to my “adopted” family. Thanks for reminding me to treasure all relationships and they are worth the time we invest in them.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:42 amMy Mom was my best friend. She died 27 years ago. There are many times I wish I could talk to her and ask her for advice. The Lord has graciously given me many women that are my other Moms. The joy I have is knowing for one day I’ll see her again.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:43 amThank you for sharing your story. Thank you Suzanne’s Mom for sharing yours. (When my daughter’s were younger I was sometimes called Sarah’s Mom or Becca’s Mom. I believe it is my other name.)
Gave a blessed day!
Grace
My mom passed away 5 years ago this month at the age of 92. I have so many fond memories of her. I made a monthly flip card for her (31 memories). Each card had a memory of something she had done for me or things we had done together. Needless to say she loved it and shared it with her friends. Her hands also made many beautiful clothes, quilts, pillows, foot stools and hot pads. I use them all, keeping them put away and safe would be nice but no one else will use them with the same fond memories. The last night I spent with her was while she was in the nursing home. I splet in the chair right next to her bed. The nurse told me the next morning that she didn’t have the heart to move her because we were sleeping with our heads right next to each other. Find your happy memories, hold on to them and cherish them. God Bless.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:43 amThank you so much for reminding me of the importance of spending time with our Moms. My Mom lives about 15 minutes away and the busyness of our daily lives prevents us from getting together as much as we should. I try to make an effort to get together once a week, even if it’s just for a little while. My Mother-in-law on the other hand lives over 600 miles away. I have a very close relationship with her and miss her tremendously! We talk at least once a week but I’m sure as you know it’s not the same as seeing and talking face to face. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I would love to read your book! Have a wonderful and blessed day!
July 1st, 2010 at 9:49 am: ) Christina
What a beautiful devotion that brought tears to my eyes this morning! I am very fortunate that I am close to my mom & talk to her at least once a day on the phone (she lives about 1 1/2 hrs away). I am so glad for both you & your mom that you have been able to walk through your journeys together & see what He is doing in both of your lives!!
July 1st, 2010 at 9:54 amI think its great to love our mums. My mum and i didn’t always get along when I was growing up but now that Im an adult and looking back in retrospect I really appreciate all the sacrifices she made for me. My mum is a very generous and strong woman who has always stood by me and i love and appreciate her for that. I think ur mum has done a brave and great thing by sharing her story.
I dont live in the same city wiv my mum but i speak with her daily on phone.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:55 amHi Suzie,
I so loved your devo today! My Mom and I have had a broken relationship for most of my life. We recently had a healing in our realtionship! I also know that God will continue to do a mighty work in each of us!
I hope that you get to see your Mom soon!
Love Ya Girl!
July 1st, 2010 at 9:55 amJeanie
Thanks, Suzie for the reminder to “love” our loved ones. My Mom is great – she will do anything for almost anybody!! We lost my Dad last September, and he was sick for almost a year after being diagnosed with mesothelioma. It was a hard time for all of my family. Praying that you & your Mom will be able to get together soon for a great time together!! I take my Mom on trips to the doctor, son’s baseball games, and out to dinner as often as I can. God’s blessings to you!
July 1st, 2010 at 9:58 amDori
Being a Mom myself, and now a grandmother, I have found it so hard to turn off being “MOM”, but God has shown me that they belonged to HIM first and He loves them even more than I do, so I have given them back to HIM. Now I can be a best friend and what a blessing that can be. Thank you Father.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:13 amMy mom wet home to be with the Lord nearly five years ago, and until she was diagnosed with cancer, our relationship was a constant struggle. God used her cancer to open her heart to me and to my sisters–we had the best 17 months. I miss her every day–and I never thought that would be the case. Making peace with our parents, especially our moms, is a wondrous gift.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:14 amThank you Suzi for this post today, it sure has brought many things into perspective. My mother has been such a rock to me even and especially in the moments when I didn’t realize or refused to acknowledge it (teens). I could not be where I’m at today without her love and firmness and advice. Thank you for reminding me how much she means to me and how much at times when life gets to be too much, I take her for granted.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:17 amThank you Father for blessing me with such a wonderful mother, and thank you for blessing me with gifts of my own. I pray His love radiates through me and spills over to my children and family.
Thank you for persevering in writing and publishing your book. I pray every day that I will be a good mother for my five daughters, that God will reveal their needs and that I will be able to meet them, that I will listen and really hear when they need to talk, and that most of all they will know that I love them no matter what.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:22 amWow! What an incredible devotion, it’s so honest and real, and I can totally relate to the women who have broken relationships with their mothers. I have a wonderful mother, we just don’t have a close relationship, we don’t have that “mother/daughter” bond and it seems to be the trend in my family. I just don’t want it to happen to the relationship Im trying to establish & nuture with my own young daughter. Looking forward to reading the book, it may be exactly what I need.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:23 amI read this today with hesitation.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:32 am2 years ago today I held my moms sweet hands as she took Jesus hand into paradise.
I miss her so very much! I had only 3 days in 42 years that I did not se or speak to her. I was out at sea and no cell connections were available.
For those who are blessed to have your moms yet, hold her hands often and always hug, kiss and say I love you as if it would be the last time. It just may…Oh and take a picture of her hands I wish I had a clear close upof my moms.
Blessings
I believe things are sent to us for a reason. I read today’s devotion with a heart longing to have a better relationship with my mom. It has been rocky and need much work/prayer. Whatever comes of it, it has taught me to be more focused when it comes to my daughter. I want us to have that bond that should be between us two. I know God works things out on his time and in his (I just pray it’s never too late – which I know it won’t be).
July 1st, 2010 at 10:42 amThank you! What a great story… I admit I am not the best daughter, but through this the Lord has shown me what needs to be done. I must be aware of how precious time is and how little of it there really is.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:44 amTme is so precious. Now that my mom has passed away (just a year and a half now)it is hard to think of all the should haves. She was a tough women but loved her kids immensely. I have 2 grown children and I love them dearly. My daughter and I have a great relationship…I would love to give her the book to read as our past has so many hurts. Thanks for the words of encourgement today.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:45 amBeth A
Thank you so much for sharing! My mother left this world 5 years ago after battling leukemia. Our relationship was similiar to yours. Praise the Lord, we mended things before she left. Now that I’m a mother myself, I miss her so even more. Dori, that you for your comments as well. So true how amzing the hands of your mother can be.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:45 amHello and bless you Suzie. My Mother went home to the Lord in 2001. I still miss her terribly. She was the one person I could talk to about anything – wise or foolish. She helped us raising our six children. She was always there for me. I want to know my children feel the same about me. I would love to get your book. My kids are all raised now but I know I still have more to learn.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:48 amI remember my Mother’s hands so well. Can’t wait to hold them again in eternity.
Thanks for the encouragement for today. Can’t wait to read the book.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:51 amThis story made me really want to cry as it hits home hard. But in reverse. You see, I am bipolar and have struggled with anxiety and depression nearly all my life. My father sexually molested my sister and my mother didn’t know somehow. I was the baby of the family and never close to my mom, sadly I thought my dad was the hero. My sister was the one who worshipped my mom. She was best friends with my mom and still is. It has just been in the last few years that my mom and I have made a good relationship and I have apologized for things I said that were mean and hurtful to her. My daughter and I were always close until her high school years when I found out about my dad and what he had done to not only my sister but my step-sister for 10 years of her life. I was devastated. MY DADDY? Well, you can imagine what that did eventually to my image of my heavenly Father. I let satan twist that in my head. I began to get angry and my illness got worse. I screamed cussed and then my daughter moved out with her boyfriend and I was furious with her. I took that on me and was embarrassed for me. My pride. I MUST have done something wrong. Things spiraled out of control and after they finally got married on Oct. 19 of 2007 I admitted myself to a mental hospital in Nov. 11 of 2007. I had crashed and couldn’t go on. I was so ill at one time after I got out I told her I was __________ done with her. I had basically blacked out and had no rememberance of these comments I would make and so finally one day she said no more and came out of anger returning a bunch of my things I had lovingly given to her and said she had to step back from me for her own mental health….which ended up being 11 months. I thought I would literally die. I knew they were going to try to get pregnant and I thought they will never let me see that baby or trust me with it. But through much counseling and prayer and healing and community from my home group and church I have come so far and am so much healthier now. She is expecting a girl, Mallory in September and I am making her bedding for her nursery and helping her with things and we are finding joy together again. She trusts me and she knows how much I love her and she is finally understanding my illness and how to respond to my moods and I have WAY less outbursts or problems and am walking with the Lord in a much stronger and different way. I hope to pass on blessings to future generations. I hope for my mom to see that difference and be involved also. My story is much deeper than this. But I am so thankful for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ without whom this would all be possible. He is my rock and fortress. Thank you for your story, I can so relate as I have had some of your mother’s moments sadly, and grieve as I read them and that I have put my child through some of them. I would love to read your book and frankly I have often thought of writing my own book I just don’t know how to begin or where to begin. Maybe if I read it I might just get the inspiration to do it! Thanks!
July 1st, 2010 at 10:53 amYour devotion for today brought tears to my eyes. I know the value of each day, and I know that time can pass too quickly. I nursed my mom back from near death 3 years ago, with PURE LOVE. It was an amazing thing to watch. She is almost like a flower that needs water to thrive…my mom needs LOVE. I have 3 siblings who just don’t “get this”…All they need to do, is visit her, talk to her, show some interest, and she “perks up”. Such a little thing to do for someone who in her lifetime did so much for us. I find it hard not to be bitter at those who just think the elderly are burdens. I ask for God’s forgiveness for my bitterness. I wish that my siblings could see the beauty in my mom’s hands…which are like you say bent and swollen at the joints, though much has changed physically, she is still the same woman inside, “our mother.”…..
July 1st, 2010 at 10:59 amI am blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my mom. During my separation and divorce these last 2 years, she has been my stern rock to lean on. Though at times she has not known what to say or do because she has never had to endure the pain of divorce, she has been there silently none-the-less. As a single mom now, it can be very overwhelming most of the time. THere are many days such as today when life’s stresses seem to take hold and I feel as if I am taking it out on my own children. I do not want to pass my hurts and pain onto them but sometimes i’m afraid I have done just that. God has truly been gracious and merciful with us and has providing beyond earthly reasoning. My earnest prayer is that my children will one day look back on our tough times and know that it was simply a path along the road that God was paving for us. A learning experience, a testimony being written for something greater than we can imagine. My children are a blessing however there are times I have viewed it as a burden. I am trying to move past those times and my hurts to give them the love they so truly deserve.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:00 amI look at my hands and those of my mom’s and my 10 year old daughter’s and see the lines, the scars, the wrinkles and the beauty on the surface but our hands tell a story of love, gentleness, carresses, discipline and grace. Thank you for a wonderful message today.
Wow, Suzie. Your devotional hit so many levels and issues going on in my life. Spending time with our loved ones does need to be a priority. My parents are divorced, 84, and live several states away. I recently was able to spend time with both, however. Your story touched my heart. I had never read it before. It brought back memories of my not so memorable childhood. My mother is saved, my dad is not. My marriage is hurting and having a 19year old son going to community college and living at home should be a joy. It is stressful with all of us because God is not on the throne of our lives. Forgiveness is needed. Pride needs to melt away. Time is taken for granted. Our hearts need to be mended, and I daily draw close to God to hear His truths, answers, and want so much to be obedient to Him and for my husband and son to desire Him as King and Master of their lives as well. I know God is our answer and I pray daily for him to soften our hearts so that our joy and life may be made complete in Him. I don’t want to waste time and continue in turmoil. Sometimes I feel the struggle will never end when hearts are so self-centered and not God-centered. I regain peace when I focus on The One that can heal all things and my hope is re-ignited, restored. Today my heart is heavy, but I know Who can change that. He is my rock and my fortress that I must continually turn to each moment of every day. When we allow Satan to gain the foothold of our thoughts and heart issues, the guilt of not measuring up as a mom and wife can be overwhelming. But, God wants us to be transformed through His renewing of our minds and fight the enemy’s lies with His strong armor. While I am sad, I am so hopeful in Christ’s power and have peace that He will renew our family.
Thank you for sharing your story, your heart, being transparent. It is great encouragement that when we cling to the One that holds our todays and tomorrows, we don’t have time to dwell on our yesterdays and the mistakes we made. We are new in Christ and can be thankful that God is a God of second and third and fourth chances. Learning grace and mercy instead of legalism heals my heart. And, it is there for the asking. We just need to learn to give God our stories and concerns and not take them back watching for His abundant grace and mercy to restore.
Many blessings,
July 1st, 2010 at 11:03 amDonna
Wow! Your story touched me today. I lost my mom five years ago and it seems that the biggest loss was the touch of her hand. I stood for several moments at her casket just caressing her hands and remembering their touch through so many rough spots in my life. Thank you for sharing. Continue to treasure the moments with your mom. Wishing the best for you!
July 1st, 2010 at 11:23 amHello dear Suzanne, thank you for your wonderful words today. As soon as I read it I decided I wanted to send you a note. Mothers are so precious and often worthy of much more than they receive. You are so right that they come before many things in our lives. I had the wonderful privilege of caring for my aging godly mother before she passed away 2006 while I held her hands. I lost my dearest friend but she is with her Lord whom she loved passionately. I too am from Canada – another beautiful Country! God is my first love and then my family. Ps. 145 I will exalt you, my God and King. I will bless your Name forever and ever.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:26 amOur Redeemer is forever faithful and true!
Love,
Barbie
Thanks for using your mom’s testimony to help other women. It’s amazing to see how God can take some difficult times and use them for GOOD. God IS good, all the time!!!
July 1st, 2010 at 11:27 amKelly
Dear Suzanne, My name is Amy. I recieve my daily devotional from Proverbs 31 (thank the Lord for these women) and I found this blog from there this morning. Thank God He has saved me from such a similar back ground as your mothers. I am now blessed with a wonderful, God fearing husband who just happens to be a pastor to boot! (Isn’t God’s humor abounding?)So as I read your blog this morning I felt like rejoicing in where He has brought me from, but I also felt a tug on my heart for my mother. She has so much bitterness and guilt built up inside of her from the things she has had to endure in her life and while raising us. I know she is a Christian (who do you think taught me), but she has strayed far and I pray everyday for her to hear God’s voice calling out to her. I think your book might help her greatly to know that there are other women out there who have been helped and how God changed them.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:33 amWonderful story! It reminds me I need to spend more time with my Mom. Her health is failing and I know she won’t be here forever. She lived what I would call a terrible life with my Father, but always always loved all 6 of her children. Big family and a lot of struggles. I love her and know I will miss you one day, so…….I’m going to take the afternoon off and spend time with my Mother! Thanks Suzanne for all you do to speak to us and guide us through life.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:53 amYour devotional today left me in tears.
I read your story and that of your mum and am still amazed at the tranforming power of God when we learn to let go and let him work on us.
growing up in an abusive home with a father who was a drunkard and
never knew what it ment to provide for his family. there was constant conflict in our home. time and time again i was touch and even abused sexually in the home.my mum loved us and tried to shield us from our dad but it only burnt her out.
when she died the year i graduated from University i just blanked out. no emotion, no feelings,nothing.just hate.And being the only girl with five brothers,idid not know what the future held for me. I never knew that God knew all about me. God found me when i needed him most though i never knew he could be so real.He save me and turn my life around. outside nothing change but inside i was a new me. i remember quite vividly lying on my friends bunk the day i was to return back home; hearing Gods voice as he aswered the aching question of why he allowed my mum to die saying ” the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh blessed be the name of the Lord”.
10years on i still miss my mum and am constantly reminded of the great treasure that motherhood is but thankfully the hole is gone.
we all have scars, some of us worst than others but His Love is powerful and conquers all. Even when we hurt we can still love.
today i am a mother of two adorable boys with a husband that inspite of my past still loves me and i love him too.not with fear but by the grace of God from my heart.
thanks for reminding me of the treasure we have in our loved onces expecially our mothers. time passes ever so quickly and we must remember to share time with those whom we love.
God bless you and my your hands be his instrument to bless others.
July 1st, 2010 at 12:00 pmThis is so touching. I feel like it is a message for me and I will act right away!
July 1st, 2010 at 12:11 pmThank you, so much for today’s devotional. I am a recovering alcoholic, and I fear I have done much damage to my two daughters.(now 18 and 20) I am grateful for christian writers like you and your mother that can teach my daughters how to be better than me.
July 1st, 2010 at 12:17 pmI would love to read this book. Thank you and your mom for sharing your hearts with us. I hope to one day experience the healing you speak about between my mother and I. She, too, has a very wounded past but she hasn’t been able to let God heal her. As my pastor says, hurting people hurt people–remembering that, and extending her mercy through His power is the only way we can have a relationship today. I try so hard to be the kind of mother I always wanted to have–which makes me very hard on myself when I fall short of this ideal I’ve created. I am also a writer and told my husband the other day that I’d like to write about mother/daughter issues someday. I really do look forward to reading your book!
July 1st, 2010 at 12:17 pmWow, what a testimony. I too know the hurts from a hard past. It is so true that sometimes you just don’t know how to forgive, you don’t know how to deal with hurt, and you don’t know where to even start in fear of what the outcome would be. All you have known is hurt, guilt, anger, lies… how do you live without those things?
I know My Savior, He is my healer… I am still a work in progress… I am still healing.
Thanks for the testimony,
July 1st, 2010 at 12:59 pmchristy
As I am writing this tears are starting in my eyes, oh how I pray to be the mom my children need. As a mother of 4 kids sometimes the crazyness gets in the way. Sometimes I feel I let my frustration get in the way of mothering. I am very close with my own mother and she was a very good one growing up. My parents were divorced when I was 12 years old and I think this tore my whole life apart! From then on I put on this bad attitude and didn’t let her in anymore. Now as a grown women I regret how I was to others and realize how my father was to her. At the time I blamed her because he disappeared. I sometimes think all of this affects my life now, my marriage and my mothering. I pray that God heals me so I can be the mom I need to be and bring these children up right!
Thank you for this book and this blog.
July 1st, 2010 at 1:24 pmThank you for this beautiful reminder of love and forgiveness!:)
July 1st, 2010 at 1:31 pmThanks for the devotions you write and the ministry you do. I have never had a very close bond with either of my parents and unfortunately I struggle with that knowledge when it comes to my own children. And I overcompensate by doing too much for my children. The title of your book The Mom I Want to be: Rising above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future really got to me. I hope to get to read it soon in the near future. Maybe some gems I can learn from to stop the pattern.
July 1st, 2010 at 1:39 pmI did not grow up in a Christian home and often feel like “I do not have the tools”. I would love a copy of your book!
July 1st, 2010 at 1:39 pmYour book sounds very intriguing. My relationship with my mom has not been an easy one with many ups and downs. I would love to move toward more healing and a more open and honest relationship with her but don’t know how. I became a Christian as an adult and my mom doesn’t have the same beliefs. Sometimes it’s just hard.
July 1st, 2010 at 1:55 pmWow, I am contemplating a trip back home with my 12 year old son, driving halfway across the country next week. Part of what is holding me back is that my mom and I have such a rough relationship. I took care of her for a month this winter when she was in the hospital, putting my life on hold and being there for my dad who could not do it alone. Then he had open heart surgery a month later after she was home. She acted like a 2 year old with me then, and had tantrums over my taking care of him! This is just the latest in her episodes my whole life. So, I hope that maybe we can find a way to repair things as she is still physically and mentally ill and I have to try to remember that. My whole life goal is not to make the same mistakes with my own kids, and I know I fail, but I try! Anyway, thanks for posting, I am going to look for your book, maybe it will help me heal from so much pain.
July 1st, 2010 at 2:23 pmYour mother’s words echo what I am going through. My mother(now 83)has been abusive and harsh on me all my life. I don’t know what all hurts she may carry that have made her this way. My natural tendancy is to avoid or limit my time with her. Yet as a Christian, I try to honor her, to be patient and understanding, to endure the hurts, to care for her needs. Years ago my deserate need for unconditional love led me to many very poor choices that I still carry as hurts and an inability to deeply accept God’s love and His command for self-love. My pain can bleed into my relationships with many others as well. Because of the love, care, and prayers of two very special Christians in my life, I am now going through a healing process with their help. I am beginning to see the value God has for me, the gifts He has blessed me with to use for His glory. It is my prayer as I work through this to be healed of my damaged emotions and memories, to be able to fully accept God’s love, to freely live in His love, to freely give His love to others. Thank you for a wonderful post, encouraging and so timely! God is indeed merciful and gracious; His timing perfect.
July 1st, 2010 at 2:38 pmWOW! What a beautiful story indeed. My mother and I have been very close throughout my adult life and we are soul sisters in Christ and I know a lot about her past, what she endured, the things of the past that are passed down through generations even when you try your best to avoid them, and I know that a lot of the pain I experienced growing up was a direct result of her sufferings as a child and young woman. Wrong relationships, misguided aspirations, etc., etc. I strive so much every day to make sure I do no pass those on to my daughter and give my her nothing less than my best and even so, I know that some things will be inherent unless we face them head on. I still know that there remain several matters of the heart that we could and should bring out into the light and address, but it is frightening to think about. Time to stop thinking and start praying more for the strength to dive in. Thank you for the encouragement you have shown through sharing you and your mother’s courage and boldness in going forward, and overcoming, Praise the Lord. God is so good for all things are made whole and complete through him to those who surrender with arms and hearts unabandoned to receive His love, and accept his good, prefect and pleasing will. I look forward to reading your book with my mother. With a thankful heart, Christina
July 1st, 2010 at 3:06 pmThank you for your words today. I lost my mother years ago and I still miss her. I miss talking to her every day and I am so sorry she did not get to watch her grandchildren grow up. She loved her family. I urge everyone not to take their moms for granted. I still have guilt sometimes on not spending enough time with her before she left me……
July 1st, 2010 at 3:07 pmThank you for your encouraging words. It really brought tears to my eyes and made me really Thank God for my mother. As I was reading today’s encouragement, my mind was wondering back to the time, when I was young and how she was there for me. Now, she is 64 and she is still the same wonderful person, I love her so much. The devotion today, made me realize how precious my mother is and remember to take time to be with her and give her words of encouragement and love.
Thank you,
July 1st, 2010 at 3:20 pmKimberly
Thank you for sharing your story. My Mom wasn’t always there for me. Through Jr.High and High School I lived with my dad and other Family member. Mom my was in an abusive relationship for 13 years. She went through so much, a broken jaw, broken arms, broken ribs, black eyes and much more. It was so hard seeing her sad and in pain. When I was 20 yrs.old God blessed My Husband and I with a beautiful little girl. I always said I would never have her go through what I went through. Two years later God answered my prayer. My Mom left the man that beat her for 13 years. She lived with us for about 8 months. I am so grateful that I had that time with her. She shared many stroies with me and I was able to share with her how much our AMAZING God loves her. My Mom is the strongest Woman I have ever known. I also know that she loves me with all her heart. I pray everyday for God to help me be the Mom that he has called me to be. Being a Mother is the GREATEST blessing. One of my favorite scipture is ” I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me”. In His Glory, Shawnia
July 1st, 2010 at 3:26 pmI felt compelled to respond to your devotional, because I feel so strongly about this. My mother died at the age of 56, when I had just turned 30.I still had children yet to be born, and I’d only been married a few years. There are SO many things I wish I’d had the opportunity to ask my mom. She would have been far more forgiving of me than I’ve been of myself as a parent…she would have reminded me that we all do the very best we can.She would have been a great sounding board for the highs and lows of marriage. But most of all, I miss that I didn’t have the chance to lead her to Christ. I wasn’t there yet myself, and I dearly wish I could turn back time. Oh, Suz, love on your mom…again, and again. What a gift to have her in your adult years!
July 1st, 2010 at 3:29 pmMy mother was best friends with her mother and as time passes, I realize I’m becoming that much closer to my mom. Becoming a new mom myself last year has really put everything into perspective. I now realize all the sacrifices, all the time spent, all the love my mother poured into me and hopefully, I in turn, can pass that on to my daughter as well.
July 1st, 2010 at 3:32 pmThanks for the daily email reminder to love my mom through all the busy times. I also find hope in your relationship with your mother. Thanks for sharing.
July 1st, 2010 at 3:42 pmBlessings,
Stephanie
My mom and I have had a strained relationship as long as I can remember. Reading this post made me think of all she must have wnt thru that I know little about. I am not the mnother of 3 daughters and it has been weighing on me to attempt to restore the broken relationship between my mother and I.
July 1st, 2010 at 3:48 pmI would love a copy of your book and here is why. From the beginning I tried to be very in the moment with my children. I came from a broken home and tried to be all that my Mom was not. My life took a turn when I tore my Acl and ended up with Arthritis in my knees and ankles at a young age. Finally after years of pain life has gotten back to some normalcy. Although I know that there were moments when I was less then gracious when dealing with my children. I am praying that I am able to maintain my strength/and lack of pain currently so that I can do what I was put on this earth to do…raise great children who inturn will do so with their children. I am hoping to read you book one day.
Joellen
July 1st, 2010 at 3:52 pmI think this sounds like an amazing endeavor. No one’s upbringing is entirely perfect. Some have it worse than others. But you’re right- we do try to focus on those “mistakes” our parents made and we try to change those things- sometimes making our own mistakes in the process. I am very excited to read your book! I’m sure there’s so much I can learn.
July 1st, 2010 at 3:53 pmI love your devotion today, thank you for that! I have 2 children, a boy and girl. My daughter (5) has been around church and learned to follow Jesus at a young age, however my son on the other hand has not. He is 7 1/2 and we are trying to get him on the path towards God. Sometimes it seems like its too late for him, like he’s already made up his mind. I wish I could go back & start over with him. I love him so much and want the best for both of them. I often times have tremendous guilt that I did not start with him young as i did my daughter. I look forward to reading your book!
July 1st, 2010 at 4:00 pmBecoming a mom myself has made me that much closer to my own mother. Its great that even if the past wasn’t the greatest, we have no better time like the present to amend relationships with those close to us! Friends we can chose, family we can’t, so we best make the most of what God gives us!
July 1st, 2010 at 4:00 pmI am beyond words right now. I love my mom very much and have longed for a relationship that I see others having with their mothers, but she strugles with many things and has gone through so much. I have three young children of my own now and because of our relationship and how I was rasied I have been strugling with rasing them and not feeling adequate enough to do a good job. Thank you for your post, for your encouragement.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:03 pmMy mother passed away when I was 24. I would have loved to have the opportunity to be with her a little longer. When I was 12 or so she always wanted to hold my hand. I would do it for a little while and then slip my hand away…I had to be cool.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:07 pmI now have a 12 year old and I find that I reach for her hand and she is now the one doing the slipping. Funny, how a little thing like holding hands can mean so much to a Mom. Now I understand that is hurt my Mom’s feelings…just a little bit…each time I did it.
I would love to still be holding hands with my Mom now.
My mom and I have had a tough past but as time goes on, we have learned about each other, how to work with each other and today, my momma and I are friends! I love visiting with her and miss her. We live a few hours apart and try to see each other as often as possible. I’d love to read your book and have my momma read it, too!
Thank you for sharing your journey.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:14 pmI love a book based on a true “story.” Thanks for sharing yours – it will be an inspiration to those who have experienced the same harships & will certainly be an enlightening read! Life is short, cherish your relationships!
July 1st, 2010 at 4:16 pmHi Suzie! I loved your devo today. It brought tears (of joy) to my eyes and I forwarded it to my Mom. She loved it!
If I won your book, I’d pass it along to a dear friend who has had more than her share of stuggle in life and is still without Jesus. My prayer is that she learns about the love that covers all.
Thanks for your encouragement and prayer this week. I hope to see you at She Speaks. (@pattihazlett)
July 1st, 2010 at 4:17 pmBlessings!
It’s a personal comfort to me to know that other women have struggled with their relationships with their moms & have been healed. It’s encouraging to see that. My mother was molested for years as a child & had me at the young age of 15. I’m her only child & the horrible scarring that she has had to carry from her own childhood definitely effected mine too. I have a 2 year old little girl & want to be the best mom that I can be for her. I’m really looking forward to reading your book!
July 1st, 2010 at 4:17 pmMy Mom and I are very different and often that causes friction. However, I love her and she loves me. A reminder that we should verbalize that more often and focus more on our commonalities.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:19 pmI lost my Mom to cancer in Jan. I miss her so much. She had a childhood similar to your mom’s and with God’s love, she became an amazing woman. Although we were very close and I talked to her on the phone every day and saw her several times a week, I still wish that I had told her more often how much I loved her and appreciated her. When I read your column, it made me cry. I cried because I miss my mom, but also because I am thankful that you are appreciating your mom.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:21 pmWhen I read todays topic “My Mother’s Hand” I thought how lucky you were that you had a mother that had been loving and had been there for you. But upon entering your blog and reading further about your mom, tears came to my eyes. You see, I thought it was easy for you to say nice things about your aging mother’s hands, because you had a perfect relationship with her. But not I, because I had never felt my mother’s hand caressing my face nor have I ever heard her say I love you. However, when I read about your mother’s past my eyes welled up with tears. My mom too had a very hard life, maybe I should try to have a better relationship with her, before it’s too late. I still have a lot of healing to do; and I don’t want to leave a legacy of hurt and pain for my children. I thank God for your blog, and would love to read your book. I know that it will speak to my heart as today’s devotion has. Thank you.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:22 pmMy mom is in the later stages of Early Onset Alzheimers. I have never had a difficult relationship with my mom. Instead, mine was very close. Unfortunately, she became ill with Alzheimers when I was a very young adult. Now that I am older and a mom myself, I yearn for a close relationship, but Alzhemimers has taken that away. I always knew she was a beautiful person, but now I know that even more. Being a mom without a mom is hard.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:26 pmThis was probably one of the best devotionals that I’ve read in a while! It really hit home and made me realize the things I already knew, but had just forgotten about. Life gets busy and sometimes you forget the most important people. This certainly opened my eyes up and I just want to thank you!
July 1st, 2010 at 4:31 pmI love the way God heals when Hes given the chance!
July 1st, 2010 at 4:34 pmYour book sounds like it will be very healing for many women and by extension, their families and friends. I was truly blessed with the mother I have. She was strong, a fighter, for us and anything she believed in. She was loving gentle and forgiving with us. And everyone she met, she mothered. Everyone loved her. I used to say that she never had enough kids so she kept adopting strays.
I speak in the past tense about by mom, but she is still here, still living, anyway. A few years ago I started noticing changes in her, forgetfulness, lack of energy, lack of caring to be at her kids’ and grandkids’ celebrations. I was angry and hurtful because I didn’t know what was happening to my mom, I only knew that the woman I knew and loved is only a temporary inhabitant of the empty shell that is there now. My parents had gone through a great deal of stress, losing our family business and almost their house, too, at a time when they thought they could retire and enjoy their golden years.
What my mom is now, is a depressed alcoholic. What I deal with now, I thank God every day that she was strong enough not to give in to this until she raised us all to adults. So I have learned to accept and love the woman who is here now and cherish the memories I have of who she was.
I think your book is wonderful, though I haven’t read it, because so many people keep secrets, painful secrets, and when someone has the courage to share their tragedy, others find that they are not alone in their pain – and then the healing begins.
So thanks again for your courage. It will make a difference.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:35 pmSuzanne,
When I read your topic “My mother’s hands”,I was suddenly transported mentally back to my childhood. My mother has always gave so much of herself to give to her children. She may not have always had, but she made do with what she had, and always found a way to make ends meet. She would stay up all night sewing clothes for us for school, cooking special meals, and cleaning up after us. I didn’t realize then the sacrifices she made. I thank God every day for her, and don’t know what I would do with out her. I don’t get to see my mom as often as I wish, but thankfully through facebook and email. we still get to communicate daily. So many people that I have met over the years, either have/had a bad relationship with their mom, didn’t even know their mother, or their mom has passed away. I am so grateful to at least have some time with my mother, and enjoy the simple things, like sitting on her porch with a cup of our favorite coffee, and just talking about any and every subject.
God is so faithful, and he can heal any broken relationship, and cause there to be such a bond that no man can put asunder.
Thank you for your article today, and I liked it so much, I shared it with my mom on FB. Have a blessed day..
July 1st, 2010 at 4:41 pmYour devo touched my heart as I see it did many hearts.
My mom has RA and her hands are becoming more and more crippled. It breaks my heart to see her struggle with daily tasks. I miss her and wish I could be closer to help her.
And like you, my family life wasn’t easy. I thank God for restoration.
Thank you for sharing your heart of love. It’s beautiful.
Hope to see you face to face again someday.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:43 pmHugs!
So many of you have touched my heart with your stories, your encouragement, your wisdom, your honesty…
I am praying that God heals, restores, loves you like crazy, and fills the gaps in your (our) lives.
Suzie
PS: Some of you have privately asked if you could retweet this or repost. Absolutely. My twitter addy is http://twitter.com/suzanneeller if you want to link.
July 1st, 2010 at 4:44 pmMy mother and I have a wonderful realtionship I am so thankful that God has given me the privalige to have her be my mother.
July 1st, 2010 at 5:05 pmThank you for sharing this. What a wonderful picture of grace your mother’s story is (and your’s as well!). Your mother certainly allowed God to work in her by being willing to share. I am blessed in that, after my husband, my mother is a best friend. I hope that someday my little girl can say the same!
July 1st, 2010 at 5:10 pmI am very close to my mother, even though she lives in Alaska and I live in Illinois. I am very thankful that we are close, as I know not all mothers and daughters have a close relationship. I thank God for the closeness I share with my mom, and I do my best to keep he lines open between my sons (ages 6-15) and I. I know of quite a few families torn apart by one thing or another. If only someone would swallow their pride…and put their trust in God…
July 1st, 2010 at 5:25 pmMy mother and I have been through several positive and negative cycles in our relationship over the years. I am at a place where i am revisiting some of my old wounds from childhood as I raise my own children. I know God has brought me to this place for healing, and it is working! I am working through and finding Grace for my mother who did her best. I will appreciate what time I may have with her for us to share, laugh, cry and heal before we have to say goodbye.
July 1st, 2010 at 5:29 pmI lost my mom alomst 3 years ago. Near the end of her short life we got closer, but, still there was a barrier because she didn’t know the Lord. I have two kids, 6 and 10. I struggle to be the mom God wants me to be, because I never had a model. I don’t want that for my daughter or son. Enjoy your mother, you are both blessed of God to still have each other.
July 1st, 2010 at 5:29 pmMy Mom lives around the corner from me- well,a mile, but in Iowa out in the country, it’s just around the corner. Life is short, so it’s best to enjoy all of it and take it all in. Love that my Mom lives just around the corner!
July 1st, 2010 at 5:47 pmI’m so thankful for my mom. We call each other at least once a day if not more. She’s there for me through everything, good and bad. I’m lost when I know she’s on vacation and I can’t call her about my day. Mom’s are great!
July 1st, 2010 at 5:52 pmI’m not the mom I want to be, and it’s not my mother’s fault. My darling sister died in November at age 38 and I have spiraled down since then. I am going to pick up a copy if I don’t get lucky on Monday – maybe your book can help me get back on track.
July 1st, 2010 at 6:04 pmI miss my mom immensely. She died in 1997 after 7 years of Alzheimer’s so she really died in 1990. She wasn’t perfect but she loved me as best she could based on her upbringing. I’d like to win the book though for my son’s fiancee. She’s given me two grandsons and is working at being a great mom, which is even more impressive because she was the child of a HORRIBLE mother who didn’t even feed her children enough food (although she was able). She took care of her little brother because her mom was too disinterested to. So I would LOVE to give the book to Piper.
July 1st, 2010 at 6:59 pmGod bless you and your mom, Suzanne!
Losing my dad at a young age, my mom & I had a tough relationship when I was growing up. Lots of hard work later I am truly blessed to call her my best friend! Thanks for the reminders as I have 2 daughters now myself and want to do best by them.
July 1st, 2010 at 7:04 pmI hope and pray that I can one day fully embrace God’s love and forgiveness and get passed the inability to forgive myself and be able to end how I let it filter into my own family and see the damage that has been done. I am a strong believer but can not get past my past! I just keep praying! My boys and husband are counting on me. I will press on in His strength!
July 1st, 2010 at 8:58 pmI lost my mom to cancer in 1999. We didn’t have the best relationship like I had seen so many other mother/daughters have but I loved her and I know she did her best and in her own way was trying to be the best mom she could be. I miss her so much. I’m just sad to say that I didn’t fully appreciate her until I was in my 40s. and I can see many things that came between us that are similar in the relationship I have with my own daughter. I have felt like a failure a lot of times as a mother. I know God is helping me to heal that relationship and I know that HE brought me to this P31 ministries to read these things. I plan on purchasing a copy of this book soon. Thank you Lord for your wisdom and timing.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:04 pmI grew up in a totally dysfunctional home. My mother was verbally and physically abusive. A teen mom as well.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:13 pmI knew her behavior was wrong and vowed to never parent like her.
I met my savior as a teenager and married a good christian man. After many years of trying to witness to my mother….she finally came to Christ (not with us….but another pastor near her).
While she is a different person in many respects…she still struggles with her past.
I’ve forgiven her. But so many years were lost due to the abuse.
I have tried to be a good mother but I know I’ve fallen short in so many ways.
I feel at peace with my kids and our relationship. God has blessed me tremendously!
I can’t imagine being abused the way your mother was. I can’t imagine being able to tell my daughter about something like that, much less being able to publish it. You are a special person to be able to help your mother get all this down on paper and she is so brave to give it to the world to help them through their own struggles. You have a wonderful gift and you are using it for the glory of God. That is awesome.
July 1st, 2010 at 10:49 pmI enjoyed reading your devotional today and would love to read your book. My mother and I aren’t very close. I’ve forgiven her for the verbal and emotional abuse I experienced as a child growing up, but she still carries so much bitterness in her heart. I pray that she can learn to let go and finally feel at peace. God has truly blessed me and I draw on His strength each day as I grow in my own role as a new mother.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:01 pmIt truly is amazing how God works in our lives. The last few weeks I’ve been praying for God
To lead me in the direction that is best for
Me and my family. My current job is stable
And has been my career that I’ve worked and
Developed myself and others to become
Leaders that others view with respect.
There are no questions that my family is my
Top priority and I don’t feel in my current
Job that I’m able to give my family thé
Time they want or more importantly,the
Time they deserve. My son is 16 months old
And I feel I’m missing out on the best and
Most important time of his life to teach
Him all the things he needs to be the man
His father and I want him to grow to be. I
Will have time later to have a career if I
Choose but my son will never be a toddler
Again and I will not be able to get these
Precious years back to spend with him.
Thank you so much for your story and for the
July 1st, 2010 at 11:20 pmReminder that each day that passes is so
Precious and not one second should be taken
For granted. God is ready to hold our hand
Thru every storm of life and will hold our
Hand and lead us to safety if only we ask!
I struggle in my relationship with my mother. I see all the pain in her past she tries to ignore. It fogs all of her relationships. I long to be so much closer to her but she keeps everyone at arms distance. I hope I can learn from her pain how to overcome my own past and enjoy a transparent and loving relationship with my children.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:33 pmThank you for your story and the reminder to love those around us and see them for who they are in their brokenness.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:43 pmMy heart is heavy as I write this. I grew up in a home of abuse and secrets; secrets that as an adult I have exposed because of my desire to live in the truth with my husband and children. As a result, my relationship with my mother has been fractured and I am at a loss as to how it will ever heal. He is the ONLY way out and with His will it will be healed. I am grateful for stories of hope and love as yours for Restoration is greater than we can imagine. Yours is a nice reminder to keep prayer constant, so He can take care of the rest.
July 1st, 2010 at 11:50 pmThank you for reminding me to spend more time with my Mom!
July 2nd, 2010 at 12:12 amWhen I read your mother’s words, it was like reading my own thoughts. I had carried resentment and unforgiveness around for most of my life. I strive to give my children a better family life than I had. And now I have a second chance to get to know and understand my mom.
July 2nd, 2010 at 12:20 amThanks for the reminder that GOD IS GREAT and sometimes we’re fragile enough to let GOD lead! Your book sounds wonderful and I would call my mom write now if it wasn’t 1am! Can’t wait to read your book. Thanks for sharing I always love sharing stories of God active presence with my children! Thank you!
July 2nd, 2010 at 1:15 amI come to your blog often and am always touched by the words you faithfully and honestly write. You are such a blessing and encouragement to us and I appeciate your beautiful way to speak into our lives.
July 2nd, 2010 at 3:45 amMy mother suffered at the hands of her brother through sexual abuse and her own mother never would have believed her because my mother’s brother was my grandmother’s favorite. My mother was verbally abused and torn down severly by my grandmother’s words and actions towards her. She still has bitterness from never being healed and now that my grandmother has passed away she is unable to forgive her. My mother was always loving to me and my sister but the bitterness shadowed all her relationships. I would love to read your book and share it with my mom. She is a beautiful and strong woman who has endured so much hardship and pain. I want to see my mom healed from her hurts. I want to be healed from the hurts in my life so that my daughters can walk in victory and not carry the curses of our generations. I know I have made so many mistakes with my daughters out of my own hurts and frustrations but I always try to go to them and apologize when I have been wrong to teach them forgiveness.
Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly and honestly. May God continue to bless you, your family, and your ministry!! Love and blessings to you
“If you are no longer wracked or in bondage to a person or a way of life, tell your story. Risk freeing someone else.” Anne Lamott
This quote came to mind as I read many of your comments. So many of you have something to say. You are speaking out of healing or insight, instead of pain. Beautiful!
Others are in the battle, still working through it, and I’m so proud of your honesty, your openness, your willingness to connect with other women as you grow.
I had no idea the well that this devo would open. I’m receiving lots of e-mails behind the scenes. Lots of mom stuff, good and bad. I am praying.
Love each of you sisters in Christ,
Suz
July 2nd, 2010 at 8:43 amSuzie.. I had no idea a book like yours was out there. My relationship with my mom has always been strained, but even more so in the years since I’ve had my own children. Interestingly enough, we’re probably ‘closer’ now than we’ve ever been. God has been healing me and helping me see the value in a relationship with her. I’m the one who has to set and enforce the boundaries and limits and I’m the one who speaks the truth, but still she puts up with me. Thank you!
July 2nd, 2010 at 9:30 amAt this time in my life I find my mother slipping away. She has always loved us but never really wanted us in her life. She struggles with many health issues including Cancer, Diabetes, and addicted to prescription drugs. She does nothing to help herself by smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. Her recent surgery have brought our family closer . Broken relationships have mended and we have tried to be there for her. She has daily struggles and I try and connect with her each day. She is very frightened and worries about everything I pray God will wrap his loving arms around her and help us to continue to be with her and appreciate the good in her and help her to see she is worthwhile still and has a purpose for living. I would look forward to reading your book and passing it onto her and my sister as we have had many struggles in our lives. Thank you
July 2nd, 2010 at 10:11 amOne of the most powerful images I heard on this subject came from a description of parenting as a relay race. We are “handed the baton” when we become parents, and how much ground we cover is partly dependent on where our parents were when it was their turn. It helped me tremendously to learn more about my father’s childhood, and appreciate all the “lost ground” he had had to make up when he was running this race. How thankful we can be that God’s grace is enough to make up for any lost ground . . . My prayer is that my children will run even farther than I when it is their turn!
July 2nd, 2010 at 10:22 amThank you for that inspiratonal devotion that you posted yesterday. My mother has been a widow for over a yeaer now and still struggles with emptiness and depression. She does not know the peace that only God can give and I pray that before she leaves this earth she will trust in Jesus and He will carry her burdens.
July 2nd, 2010 at 10:45 amMy mom made it look so easy, but I think she was empty on the inside because she always put herself and her relationship with God last. I love her dearly, yet I don’t want to live that way. I think as kids we felt the effects of her emptiness even though she always did a wonderful job of taking care of us physically.
July 2nd, 2010 at 11:16 amThanks Suzie. Your mom rocks. And so do you .
July 2nd, 2010 at 11:35 amSuzie! what an awesome blog posting! You and your mom sound like one incredible duo, beauty from ashes.
I relate very well to your story with your mom. My mom was very hurt as a young grrl and carried that pain throughout her adult years and into motherhood. we had a very broken relationship until this year when
we are still on the mend and learning how to relate in healthy ways, but man is it awesome!
July 2nd, 2010 at 4:06 pmI finally came running back to the Lord in desperation of my own unhealthy curcumstances. I ended up a single mother just like she was and God has used that to bring us back together
My mother-in-law just passed away 2 weeks ago. She was an awesome Christian. I was truly blessed with a great mother-in-law. She was an example for me as I became a mother-in-law to 3 ‘daughters’ and she taught me how to be a grandma to 7 special grandchildren.
July 2nd, 2010 at 9:09 pmMy mom was also abused as a child, her father left her family and her mom died when she was 9. She has had a hard life. My brother and I had it rough as kids, and I had it even more so when I became a teenager. Growing up in an abusive home with a mom who didn’t know how to love and accept me was very hard to handle. However, things between my mom and me have become better this past year through the Lord’s grace and mercy. She and I have chosen to love each other in spite of our weaknesses and difficult pasts. Being a mom myself of 4 homeschooled children, with the oldest child now entering the teenage years herself, I struggle daily to parent them with wisdom and patience. I remember sobbing after I found out that my firstborn was a girl, I was so heartbroken that my relationship with her would become like my mom and mine. I feel so inadequate in my parenting because I never had a mom who modeled the godly way of loving, protecting, and cherishing her children. I know now that my mom did the best that she could, and I have such empathy for her because of the pain she has been through in her life. But practically, I still need help to get past the baggage in my own heart to fully love and appreciate and enjoy the children that God has given me. I would love to read your book, and I praise God that you and your mom were able to write it together. Our God is so good!
July 3rd, 2010 at 12:38 amI am thankful for the chance to read about how others with difficult family relationships have healed and changed. I pray for my mother and myself to accept and offer grace in our relationship, and that my own precious daughter would reap the benefit of having parents and grandparents who pray for her.
July 3rd, 2010 at 7:51 amI was touched by your story. This is a good reminder for all of us that we must not take things for granted. I can honestly say, that I have a great mom and daughter relationship. However, my sister has been apart from our mom for a long time. I continue to pray ever day that their relationship will get closer but it just doesn’t happen. Thank you for this blog.
July 3rd, 2010 at 10:57 amI just found out this week that I am pregnant with my first child. I have wondered what kind of mom I will be considering at times I feel my relationship with my mom has been broken. My prayer is that I will improve on the “not so good memories”, and pass all of the best pieces of me on. With all of my mom’s crazy ways, I can still look at her and know that she taught me about God and all of the best parts of my heart and love for others has been taught by her. She had me out of wedlock at 19 years old, married an abusive man, divorced and so on….Now as a woman I look at her and think she did pretty darn good considering her past. She always tells me her faith and forgiveness is what kept her strong. I am learning to love her for the woman she is putting my “mama needs” to the side….It is time to be friends and become a mama myself.
July 3rd, 2010 at 11:03 pmI said goodbye to my Mom on April 13th. She was 88 and is now dancing with her King. I miss holding her hand.
July 4th, 2010 at 12:28 amdear suzie, God’s timing is often impeccable. i was just thinking yesterday about my daughter, and seeing in her the damage done by my issues with my growing up. it is never to late for me to learn and then model for her. i have never been close to my parents like many people are. i hope to learn to be there for her more, emotionally, for that is what a mother should be, the childs closest emotional stronghold as she faces life’s obstacles and disappointments with others and with circumstances. she lost her brother 4 yrs ago, now she is the only child. alone. p.s. still struggling with an issue you and i discussed, but still trying. is it addiction beyond my control [as i've seen on t/v] or ,as a friend mentioned, is it a lack of self control and self discipline. we really do need the help of the Holy Spirit, don’t we.
July 4th, 2010 at 8:47 amSuzie, My precious mom passed away April 2009 almost 1 year to the date of a major stroke that affected her speech, eating and her right arm. She was 86. She was in a nursing home for 3 months and the workers were so kind and loving to her which attests to her wonderfully, sweet spirit. Dad took her home and took care of her with help from his next door neighbors and eventually hospice. I would stay with her when he went to church on Wednesday and Friday nights. I miss her and coming up on her birthday on July the 10th I want all of you to know that we never know how much time we will have left. Don’t miss the opportunities the Lord gives you to spend with your mom. I didn’t and still wish I had more time with her. Mom and Dad were married for 66 years. We know she is singing and dancing with her Lord. God Bless
July 4th, 2010 at 11:29 amThank you for the reminder that my mom is one of the most precious gifts God has given to me. I so need to be reminded to love her and show her I love her inspite of “us”. I also treasure the relationship that my DD (almost 5) has with her Grandma and I know I must nurture it and the best way I know how is in how I lovingly treat my beautiful mom!
July 4th, 2010 at 7:58 pmYour mom is a brave and amazing woman to make such dramatic changes in her life. Way to go! Many people can’t or won’t do the hard work to move forward. Your mom should be proud of what she has done.
Even though no family is perfect, I feel grateful to have had a loving, caring family to grow up in. Praise God!
July 5th, 2010 at 9:30 pmMy Mom lives in St. Kitts. I live in Philadelphia PA. I don’t get to hold her hand as often as I would like, but I do make sure to call her almost every day. I am going to call right now and just tell her I love her. I would love to have a resource to teach me how to be a better mom to my own 6 children.
July 6th, 2010 at 6:53 amI lost my mom six years ago and miss her so much. I now have a grandson and it just makes me so sad that he won’t know her here. We had a strained relationship but I realize now that my mom had a very hard life and she did the best that she could. I had the privilege of leading her to the Lord about a month before she died so now I know that our relationship will continue forever in heaven!
July 6th, 2010 at 10:30 am