the intervention game
August 23, 2010 | Just me
We spent a beautiful weekend at the lake with the entire Eller family (mother-in-law, father-in-law, brothers and sisters-in-law, nephews, nieces, cousins). The weather was hot, but swimming and eating and catching up was wonderful.
As we drove home my daughter, famous for her “what if” questions, posed this one: If you had to do an intervention on every person in the car, what would it be?
Interventions ranged from spending too much time on Facebook to subtly more challenging issues. It was insightful, and for the most part, fun.
And then it was my turn.
Richard instantly said, “I’m not sure I like this game anymore.”
My son-in-law said graciously, “Suz, it’s hard to find something about you that needs an intervention…”
Smart, smart guy!
“…except for maybe…”. Then he shared something. Oops!
And my daughter concurred. So did my husband.
In the past, I would have tried to defend myself. Maybe explain why I did something, or why they were wrong because they didn’t see it my way. Even if it was something small, like this was.
But something happened a couple of years ago. I’m not sure how, or when exactly, or even why, but change often comes in increments so small that you don’t realize it until one day you just realize you’re different.
I didn’t want to defend it. In fact, it was interesting for me to hear how the people I love best see me. Maybe I can learn from it.
Are your loved ones telling you something — something you don’t want to hear — and yet you know that it’s a growth opportunity, if you’d just stop and listen. Without defenses. Without excuses. Without animosity. Especially when it’s spoken in love and with good intentions.
Or even if it’s a silly game.
“Any reaction, mom?” my daughter said.
“Nope.” I smiled. “Not really.”
And then we moved on to the next “intervention”.
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That sounds like a great game. You do have my interest peeked for sure… what was the intervention?
I could just think of what my family would intervene on!
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:20 pmIt was something small about the way I respond when I feel hurt or if someone I love is hurt. A little growth area.
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:28 pmThis resonates with me. The me of a few years ago would not have had enough inner self-worth to have heard anything remotely critical – even if it was absolutely true. But, just like you Suzie, somewhere along the way, I’ve grown enough to really listen to my loved ones assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. And often, I’m surprised at how much I appreciate their insight. I wonder if this comes from having more self-love or from realzing just how utterly insignificant we are compared to God’s greatness?
I’m gonna share this link on Facebook because I think it will help alot of people! Thanks!
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:34 pmhello Susane
August 24th, 2010 at 4:48 ami just read through your “letter of love” and i was really moved by it’s words. this has been the case in my home and i do pray day and night for God’s assistance. one thing i missed was i thought it was only our problem. i’m glad to hear from someone who have had thesame feelings like me. i know there are many others out there thinking they are alone but God will surely see us through one day
This is an area I need to grow in for sure…I have been so self-critical that criticism from others feels like “one more stone on my coffin”…..
May the LORD heal those of us who suffer from insecurity….that we might respond in healthy ways toward the loving “hurts” of family and friends…
“Better to correct someone openly than to let him think you don’t care for him at all.” Prov.27:5GNB
August 24th, 2010 at 8:02 amI love it. I wish my family could do this without any animosity toward me as they share what my intervention should be. The people around me seem to be bitter. It’s life draining honestly. I pray God will’s is obvious and clear to get us through it.
August 24th, 2010 at 9:56 am