memories
April 21, 2011 | Books, Encouragement for Today, Family: Nurturing Family
I was walking with a friend and we were talking about laughter.
“I don’t laugh with my kids,” she said. “I mostly keep them on task. I nag. I worry. I drive them from place to place.” She sighed. “I get a lot accomplished, but I’m afraid my kids will only remember a haggard mom.” She turned to me. “What should I do?”
“Jump on the bed,” I said. “You should absolutely jump on the bed.”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Jump on the bed? That’s your advice? I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because moms aren’t supposed to jump on the bed. We make the bed, or we tell the kids to make the bed, but we don’t jump on the bed.”
“Why not?”
She shrugged. “I never saw my mom jump on the bed.”
“Do you wish she had?”
The next day my friend reported that she jumped on the bed. It shocked her kids. They weren’t sure if she was losing it, but before long they joined her and it became a memory. One that I’m sure her kids will share long after they are grown.
Memories are a powerful legacy. What memories are you creating with your child? Maybe you need to shake it up a bit. We get so focused on tackling life that we forget to have down time, or to let things go for once just to play.
We look at our kids and we wonder why they laugh and smile with others, but I wonder how often our kids look at us and wonder the same thing. Why does my mom have such a great personality with that person or in that place, but not with me?
I think sometimes we just need to lighten up. If you joined me from Encouragement for Today, welcome! In that devo “The Sweet Smell of Pine Sol”, I shared how often the lion’s share of our time is spent worrying or investing our energy in things that don’t make precious memories. I even asked you to jump on the bed with your kids! Did you do it?
Today I want to share a quiz with you. It’s not a quiz to create guilt, but to take an honest assessment of the memories you are creating with your family. Take the quiz. Talk about with your family. Ask your kids and your spouse to share their thoughts.
1. When was the last time you belly laughed?
2. Is there a way to make tasks more fun as a family?
3. Is there a room where the rules can be relaxed?
4. Do you schedule fun or down time in your schedule? Why or why not? What would have to be compromised to make this a part of your family life?
5. Are your children (or are you) overscheduled? Is it all necessary? What is one change that could be made?
6. At the end of your life how much importance will all of the to-do’s on your list (which are important) hold? What priority should laughter and fun have in this to-do list?
7. After talking with my kids/spouse, what is one thing we could change today to create opportunies for memories?
Giveaway today: Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parent Needs to Know
Leave a comment and I’ll send an autographed copy to one beautiful mom/woman on Monday!
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This was me too . I never laughed much that I remember. I really regret the way I brought up our children and wished I could change all that. It was like I am the mom and you will listen to me. SAD . So now I am trying to change all that now that they are grown and with precious children of their own.
April 21st, 2011 at 8:06 amThanks, Suzie! We laugh together, but not nearly enough…I’ve been carrying the burden of being a single mom instead of cherishing the joy of being a “mom” at all. Praying for change and the spirit of adventure and joy…not always work and chores and stuff that needs to be done. <3
April 21st, 2011 at 10:58 amThank you, Susie! Boy did I need this reminder. Somehow I always seem to think that I’m required to make a lesson of everything. Your message of “do you wish she had?” is so great. I’m sure I would remember my mom jumping on the bed with me now that I’m an adult wayyyy more than the times she spent trying to make a life lesson out of everything, too!
Thank you!
April 21st, 2011 at 7:03 pmwow! I’m known as hitler. now I know why!
April 22nd, 2011 at 2:26 amI’m thanking the Lord for this gentle reminder to let go and laugh and play!
April 22nd, 2011 at 2:38 amThis was soo…….me. I thought “having order” was being a “good Mom”. My children are now all grown in their twenties. We do have some good memories but I wish that I had some “do-overs”. Give your children lots of hugs, laugh, play. They grow up fast!!!!
April 22nd, 2011 at 6:48 amYour friends words are also my words except that I feel like I’m usually running around in circles ( and don’t get much accomplished). I needed to hear this. Thank you!
April 22nd, 2011 at 7:22 amI’m not sure about the jumping on the bed but I agree with everything else. I wrestle with my 14 year old son on the bed and we laugh a lot. I always think I have to spend money to make a memory but we really don’t. You reminded us that just by having fun with our children is a memory. Thanks for this!! Nanci
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:21 amThanks for this reminder. They do grow up too fast. I have one out on his one and one still at home. I definitely need to leave room in my schedule for spontaneous moments of creating memories.
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:22 amBlessings-
I remember several times that my children made messes, like spilling a whole box of cereal on the living room floor trying to eat them, or using washable markers to color each other, faces and all. and even though these were messes for me to clean up and events that needed correction. I always tried to take a picture because at the moment this was not fun but in the future to look back are such great memories. my 4 children are adults now, 2 of them are getting married this year.
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:25 amI agree with you, yet I find it so hard to change! It feels like an uphill battle. Why is letting go so hard? Will the world really fall apart around me if I do?
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:32 amThis is God’s second similar message to me in about as many minutes. I’d be blind not to see it, deaf not to hear it. Thank you again for this reminder. My goal is to find moments in the day for the belly laughs between me and my 3 yo. We can make that happen.
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:12 amI couldn’t agree more, sometime we take life for granted and don’t do the little things that make us happy. Enjoy your children while you can because no one knows how long we’ll be here.
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:13 amI really needed to read this today as I have 3 small children and am baby-sitting four more today. Having fun with 7 kids will be just about the only thing that gets done today!
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:23 amWOW, this made me cry – it’s SOOOO me!!! (down to the pictures in envelopes in boxes. My first baby graduates from high school in a month and my other two sons are just 3 and 6 years behind. Time does indeed fly. When I get off work tonight, I’m going home and jumping on all five beds!!!!
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:58 amI have been wondering lately why I don’t laugh more… it would certainly surprise my kids if they came home to a house that smells like pine-sol, but only because I got it done BEFORE they came home from school! That would definitely free up the time to be able to jump on those beds, drop and crack an Easter egg or 3 (on purpose perhaps
) and be able to laugh about it! My girls are 9,12 and 14… they need a happy mom, not a nagging mom. It is never too late to prioritize our responsibilities! Thanks Suzie for all of your insight! I would love to win a copy of your book! I am finding how hard it is to raise children in the “world” we live in.
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:43 amWhat I love about you Proverbs 31 gals is you are so honest and real. I loved this… absolutely loved it. One of my goals for the New Year was to laugh more… and I did great for about a month. Then, burdened down with stress from work and trying to get everything done, I once again became the taskmaster of the house. My little boy called me on it! I struggle to lighten up… perfectionism is crazy, but God is helping me see it is the little things in life that matter. So, I think we’ll jump on the bed when he gets home from school =)
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:47 amThank you Susie! I really enjoyed this devotion. Laughing together is great medicine for the heart. May God continue to remind me to laugh much and often with my husband and children.
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:59 amI absolutely needed to hear this today. I have been beating myself up because I feel that I am always nagging at my son who is 15 and my daughter who is 20 and in college both living at home. I cannot wait to get home today to just act silly and jump on the bed. We do not laugh enough! Thank you for reminding me that while I do need to be a responsible parent, it is good for us to create happy memmories! I pray I continue to remember this in my heart with my children and my boyfriend. I appreciate the reminder of the joy of the Lord!
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:07 amI loved reading these honest comments. Sounds like lots of jumping on the bed is going to take place today! (Don’t send me the medical bills!) Laughter truly is the best medicine, and my prayer is that we lighten up and place laughter and fun as priority in our schedules today and every day. At the end, when we look back, it will amaze us how important the “trivial” really was.
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 amMy children are young and they always ask me if we can do things and I am always saying after i do this or after i do that, and the time raerly comes to just play with them. Thank you for this I will be making time to play and laugh with them more. God Bless
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:43 amSuzie,
What a great article! I so love it! As a Mom whose 2 sons are now grown, I’m right there with ya! Thank God for the memories!
I always so love love your writing! I love how you mix God’s truth with humor! I know that has to be one of the many things that young people love about you!
God Bless You,
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:48 amJeanie
What a fabulous reminder for me, a mom who worries way too much. I have some great kids. I know this, but yet I still spend so much time nagging and talking and trying to make them perfect. I need the reminder to let myself enjoy the fact that they are pretty fun and amazing kids and while they don’t make every choice exactly as I would want them to, they are making good choices. Why is it so hard to just enjoy my family and not worry about what others think? Why do I spend so much energy on pleasing others and not enough energy on creating time and memories that will matter with my children? I needed this today and I need to go spend some real time praying and reflecting on who Christ wants me to be to my kids instead of who others want me to be. Thanks Suzanne.
April 22nd, 2011 at 12:04 pmLisa
Here were my thoughts about family written many years ago:
It’s hard to believe I’ve travelled this far
April 22nd, 2011 at 12:25 pmNo dolls on the carpet, no balls in the car
Finger prints vanished – a thing of the past
Mirrors that sparkle – candies that last.
Where is the bustle and where is the noise
Who made things tidy and who hid the toys.
I was always too busy, and slightly harassed, but turn back the clock please – it all went TOO FAST!!
I read the Proverbs 31 devotion today and had to keep reading on your blog. You have no idea how much I needed to read this message today. My children are 3, 9 and 13 and I feel that all I do is nag, worry and complain. My 13 year old especially, is going through some growing pains (and I right along beside him since he is my “guinea pig” child). We are learning together how to get through adolescence and it is proving to be quite challenging. I think it would be much easier if I jumped on the bed with him more rather than complaining and nagging when he makes a bad choice. Maybe he won’t make as many bad choices if his mom lets loose a little…I just told my husband the other day that I didn’t think I smiled all last weekend. How sad for my kids and how sad for me! Thank you so much for the reminder to make positive memories with my children instead of the negative ones. Now I think I will bookmark this blog and join the Moms Together facebook community so that I will continued to be reminded to pray for guidance, love my kids, and jump on the bed!
April 22nd, 2011 at 1:40 pmI read the devotion today and could really relate. I do need to enjoy the time with my kids instead of trying to get things done! I look at my oldest as he likes to rub in the fact that he is now taller than me and think wow how did we get to this point in life so quickly!!!
April 22nd, 2011 at 2:03 pmJust want to say I really enjoyed your post over on Encouragement for Today (proverbs 31 ministries) im a young pastors wife of 3 little boys and could relate so much! Oh and im a professional photographer with the same bad habit with pictures
and albums hehe.
April 22nd, 2011 at 2:20 pmI truly enjoyed the “remember…..” from the Proverbs 31 devotion today. I homeschooled our three sons and when they each graduated, I created for them a “Remember when……” booklet of all the fun times we had doing “OUR”stuff together…whether it was camping as a family, and their dad doing his specialties over the campfire or when we were caving with flashlights, visiting flea markets to search for their at-the-time collection item, climbing Seneca Rocks in the fall as we drove to the mountains to view the changed timber of their colorful leaves…etc….we have made so many memories….we DO have lots of them on film but the best memories are in each of our minds.
April 22nd, 2011 at 6:18 pmThey are grown and have begun families of their own now….but we did laugh, romp, jump on the beds, ride roller coasters, fish, hike, camp, got dirty, snowballed fought, waded the creeks, water gun battled, and enjoyed each day to it’s fullest. One of our favorite story books when they were all three very young was, “No More Monkeys Jumping On The Bed….” My home did smell of pinesol from time to time….but if our walls could talk, they would share all the memories we made with smiles, giggles, & even laughter.
Thanks for your uplifting posts…..I will continue checking them out and share with others….
This is the first time I have visited the web site and I cant tell you how much I absolutely relate to this and how badly I needed to hear it! Thank you for helping me take a step back and put things in perspective! I cant wait to go home and make time to LAUGH and PLAY with my kids….Thank you thank you and God Bless and have a wonderful Easter weekend!
April 22nd, 2011 at 6:21 pmHi, this is the first time I’ve been to your site. I enjoyed the devotion today from Proverbs 31. I needed to hear it!
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:19 pmThanks!
Somehow through my tears, my precious Lord led me to your devotion. My family is grown, but my youngest son and his two children live with my husband and I. Life has been so absolutely stressful, that some days I don’t know how am going to make it through the day. I feel like we have been given a second chance with my grand angels-especially to have them live with us. They are my reason for getting up each day.Though I have many health problems, continual problems with my sons ex-wife, we have still been blessed with two wonderful angels that deserve only the best and we intend to do all we can to make that happen! There are many days when I am in so much pain I don’t know how I’ll go on, but I know I have to smile and keep a positive attitude for their sake-and yes, we have jumped on the beds, a54 yr. Old Grammy and her grandsons!!! They know I’m not the healthiest, but I try to be FUN! And they know God is in control of their lives. They have both accepted Jesus and I pray their commitment continues to grow with them thru their lives. Please pray for our family. Thank you, Sincerely, Linda
April 23rd, 2011 at 2:41 amMy children are in their thirties and we are still making fun memories. We have an adult egg hunt every year. they love i!
April 23rd, 2011 at 10:04 amThank you for this reminder. Just yesterday I realized I have been so focused on the “to list” that I have to make the time to play pool with my children. Believe me the laughs will come, I can’t play well but have fun pretending I do! It’ time to make some memories. Maybe I can try to jump on the bed, our ceilings are low, without injury”). Have a great Easter!
April 24th, 2011 at 8:27 amThanks for the reminder. Although the thought of encouraging jumping on beds is a bit scary as we have just had our first “broken bone incident”, but I’m sure i can work in some fun this week!
April 24th, 2011 at 10:51 pmThank you so much for this reminder! I am a young mom to four beautiful little girls, ages 11 months on up to 8 years old, working part-time, and home the rest of the time. I always feel like it’s a race to get the house cleaned up, laundry washed, folded, and put away, and the house just so-so, but still feel like I don’t get to spend much time with my kids. This reminds me that I’m here to be a mother to my beautiful daughters, to raise them to be Godly women, and to laugh with them. Thank you!
April 25th, 2011 at 10:22 amI took today off to “jump on the bed”. Thanks for the suggestion!
April 25th, 2011 at 2:40 pmThe ‘To Do’ list never gets completed. Having fun with the kids and making memories is so important. Thanks for the reminder.
April 25th, 2011 at 5:02 pmGreat insights here. God bless you!
May 4th, 2011 at 3:11 amSuzie,
May 7th, 2011 at 12:01 amI heard you speak a few years ago at a women’s conference in California. I’m a middle school counselor and I’ve recommended your book, Real Issues, Real Teens to many parents who struggle with their pre-teens. I’ve also recommended it to friends who have teenage kids.
Today, I was looking up this book and found your website, which I am forwarding to a young friend with 3 young children.
Thank you for your devotion to and words of wisdom for women.
Debra
Suzie,
Life has been a little crazy over the last few weeks, but today I had some extra time to look over some of the topics I have missed on your web page. I am delighted that I ran across this one. I am a mom that struggles with guilt. I am working diligently to release myself from this unhealthy past. I am proud to say that after doing your quiz, I am doing a good job as a mom!
Whew, those are words I thought I might never feel. Almost every day I laugh with my kids, I don’t let myself get to angry with their mistakes, and I seek balance in our simple schedule by including family time, mom and me time and free time.
In the past, my guilt was always able to get in the way, if I was taking time for my kids, time to play and laugh; I felt badly that I was not doing the dishes, or organizing the office. Today, I look around my house, and I have a list of housekeeping chores to be done and bills to pay, and so on. I am sure I won’t get it all done, but when the day is done, I pray that I will have done enough so that the Lord is pleased with this ministry I have been blessed with, the ministry of being a mom!
Thank You! Kim Criswell
May 17th, 2011 at 12:50 pm