second moms
June 1, 2011 | Books, Encouragement for Today, Family: Nurturing Family
If you are here visiting from Encouragement for Today, welcome!
Are you a second mom? I hope so.
What is a second mom? It’s someone who opens their home to their children’s friends. It’s that mom who doesn’t worry more about her perfect house than the sound of laughter. Who hugs that annoying kid who says the wrong thing. Who takes their neighbor’s children to church. Who jumps on the trampoline with the neighborhood kids.
It was moms like that who changed my life. “I didn’t do anything special,” she might say. “I just had kids over.”
No, you showed me normalcy. I watched you talk to your child with gentleness. I watched you laugh with your husband. I felt your touch when you teased me and gave me a hug goodbye. I listened when you told me I should make good choices. And I saw the worn Bible on your coffee table.
You showed me God.
Maybe you are a Sunday school teacher, or the mom in the neighborhood where all the kids congregate. Maybe you wonder sometimes if what you do matters.
It does. Every person I’ll ever touch is because of the impact the “second moms” made in my life.
Tips for opening your home to your children’s friends:
1. Set guidelines that make you comfortable. Maybe twice a month works for your family to have the kids’ friends over. Whatever works for your individual family needs.
2. Let your children clean up after their friends. They’ll make sure their friends keep it nice after just one major cleanup.
3. Keep inexpensive snacks in one location.
4. Be around. Not necessarily in the midst, but around.
5. If you worry about movies, etc. that conflict w/your values, build an inexpensive DVD library (or Netflix it) – but talk w/your children in advance about what is okay and what is not. Have games in the house.
6. Pray for the children who visit your home or classroom. You never know what home is like for them. Ask God to show you His heart for that child.
7. Laugh with your children and their friends.
Today I’m offering a giveaway of my book Making It Real: Whose Faith is It Anyway to give to that one special teen, whether it is your teen or a friend of your teen. Just leave a comment and I’ll choose one winner on Friday!
Making It Real is for any teen who wants to know how to make their faith their own, so that God is real to them in any situation and every day.
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This post is right on the mark! What encouragement to do and to be an influencer to young people and their families. You never know how your words and actions might impact someone else’s life…always be ready!
June 1st, 2011 at 8:43 amI live at the house where the kids congregate and I love you suggestions and realized through your devotional that my open door might be more than I think it is.
June 1st, 2011 at 8:45 amGreat devotional today. I mentor a teenager in the foster care system and my prayer is that she may see Christ’s love in me as you experienced in those women of God during your teenage years. I would of course love to win the giveaway but if not I will definitely be purchasing your book!
June 1st, 2011 at 8:51 amI too am so very grateful for all the adults in my life during my teen years. They were great examples for me and showed me so much love. Your book sounds great. I would pass it on to my son for his teen daughters.
June 1st, 2011 at 8:54 amBlessings
I try to be the 2nd Mom to my children’s friends. We converted above our garage into a room for the kids to hang out and watch TV or play games so they don’t have to worry about being too loud in the house. The same group of boys are usually over for every Penguins hockey game. I’m so glad we did that, I always know where my kids are and what they are doing. There are a couple of boys my son just started hanging around with though and I find it hard to trust them because of their upbringing (the one boy smokes and his mom buys his cigarettes), so we’ve adopted the rule that they are welcome at our house but my son is not to spend time at their’s. I hope these 2 boys can adapt some of our values by spending time with us. Your book would probably be a great help in this area!
June 1st, 2011 at 9:02 amI am a second mom to a number of young people and our home is the one where kids congregate – which can be awesome and very trying at the same time! As hard as we try, we’ve seen our own kids influenced by poor choices made by other kids. And it doesn’t always work out the way you hope. But we keep on plugging away, loving them, talking with them, praying and trusting God to work. Your book sounds like a very good thing!
June 1st, 2011 at 9:17 amWow, That prayer at the end of your devotion was what I really need to pray today. Thank You. I think I need to stop trying to figure them out and just love them in faith.
June 1st, 2011 at 9:23 amThank you for the words of encouragement! I’ve been in Jr. High youth ministry for years and so often I wonder if I really am making a difference when I just feel like the “snack lady and referee for the floor of the small group discussions!” I do love the kids so much and want to help them make their faith real! I love when God sends words like yours to encourage!
June 1st, 2011 at 9:35 amGreat words and reminder to love! Thanks for the book giveaway, too. Have grandkids coming to that age so quickly.
June 1st, 2011 at 9:36 amThis is very encouraging. As my children get older, I hope I can be a second mom to others.
June 1st, 2011 at 9:41 amI would love to give this book to my niece who struggles with finding her faith. She’s the girl that runs fast toward God but can fall just as fast. I love her dearly and hope one day she thinks as highly of me as you do your “second moms”.
June 1st, 2011 at 9:52 amThank you for the encouraging words – I often feel “tired” of having the kids here but know it is what I really do want! Thank you again! My son is just entering this teen world and I worry so -
June 1st, 2011 at 9:57 amThanks for this insight. Because of my son’s life-threatening food allergies, we tend to host everything and have all the kids play over here. He’s only in preschool so I wonder what kind of impact I can have but at this age, it’s more of a ministry to the moms more so than the kids. It’s giving them a chance to get out and socialize w/other moms and being able to minister and encourage their hearts.
I really like #5 bcs we have had issues w/this with in-laws and extended family … if it’s not on the shelf, we don’t watch/play (video games) it. It just simplifies everything having that rule.
June 1st, 2011 at 10:04 amI would love to win this book! I have a 21 yr. old & a 17 yr. old with friends in and out of our home.
June 1st, 2011 at 10:14 amGreat devotion! Thanks for the encouragement!! Ours is the house where the teenagers congregate, both girls and boys. I am thankful for that, even though it does get tiring at times. I will remember your encouraging words and press on when I’m making cookies and lemonade for the 965,742,103 time this summer.
June 1st, 2011 at 10:20 amWow, this hit me at the perfect time. I am the mom of a 14 and 15 year old girl and boy. They are great kids with lots of different friends. Summer just started and I was getting frustrated with the non stop kids in and out, the mess and my food disappearing. Some of my kids friends don’t know the Lord. I never thought of being that light for them as I feel like I am not the “cool” mom. We have rules, we don’t allow them to drink, be unkind etc however, my daughter and son keep telling us how much their friends love. We just get tired of the noise but reading this just made me realize that this may be part of God’s plan and I need to BUCK UP!!!. I would love a chance to read your book and get more inspiration. I also plan to bookmark your blog. What a great place to visit. Thanks, Kristen
June 1st, 2011 at 10:22 amGreat encouraging words! I work as a middle school teacher in a small Christian school. I feel blessed that God has called me to help mold kids for His glory. School is out for the summer and now I embark on a journey to find more ways to guide these same students when schools begins again in August. My personal kids are not far off from the teenage years and I want to be that mom who is second mom to their friends. I had a second mom growing up. She was a Godsend. If it weren’t for her, I know my life would have turned out differently as many in my neighborhood are in prison, bad relationships, or just living their lives miserable outside of Christ but reliant on drugs, sex,and alcohol to try to fill the emptiness that they fill. I hope that I can make the world a better place for a child that just needs that person to ve a second mom to them.
June 1st, 2011 at 10:40 amI don’t have teens, but I know a couple very special young ladies I would love to share your book with!
June 1st, 2011 at 10:41 amI’ve been working with the youth at our church, and am about to step up into leading youth with my husband and a close friend. This devotional/blog was the perfect read for me today as I’m firming up plans for the summer and look ahead to the school year. My biggest desire is not that we have amazing youth nights or huge numbers or lots of cool stuff to do but that we show the kids God and teach them something about having a relationship with Him. Thanks for the much needed encouragement to do what can sometimes be very difficult!
June 1st, 2011 at 10:49 amMy husband and I are the youth leaders at our church. We have been working with them for the last two years and have seen some wonderful growth. We have also been through some tough times with rebellious teenagers. We are always looking for new ways to reach them.
June 1st, 2011 at 11:35 amIt was my sister who prayer diligently for me, lead me to a great bible teacher who led me to Christ at 19. I am very grateful because I was on a path to ruin. Would love to share this book with my children
June 1st, 2011 at 11:41 amMichelle
Wonderfully said. This is great information even for this soon-to-be 30 year old without any kids of her own yet. My husband and I have worked with teens for the majority of our married life (10 years). We feel like second parents to many of them as they don’t always have the best home lives. These are great tips to try and make our home a place teens would like to ‘hang out’ at and feel comfortable; unlike their own. I know the impact that my second mom (I call her my otha’ motha’) has made in my life to this day. She is my spiritual mom. She is a rock for me in many ways and I hope to be just a bit of that to the teens we work with now. Thanks!
June 1st, 2011 at 11:47 amThank you for sharing this. I have a teen whose friends are beginning to come around a little more. I want to be the example to them as well and want them to know that they are loved and welcomed in our home.
June 1st, 2011 at 12:38 pmThank you for your devotion today. I shared it with our church youth volunteers in hopes that it reminds them that they are making a difference in the lives of our youth. Last year our family adopted a 14 year old through the foster care system. “Church” was new to her but she has become active in our youth group. Because of attachment issues, we struggle to reach her spiritually and for her to understand God loves her and desires to have a personal relationship with her. Thank you again for the encouragement.
June 1st, 2011 at 12:39 pmWhat a great devotional. We don’t have any youth in our neighborhood that are close to my son’s age. He has Asperger’s and lacks social skills so it’s hard for him to make close friends. I’ll have to remember this when our church does discipleship now and needs host homes. This looks like a great book. I will purchase it even if I don’t win the giveway. I wish someone had written books like this 30-35 years ago when I was a teen. I can’t even imagine what an encourager and witness for Christ I would be.
June 1st, 2011 at 12:56 pmI was encouraged by the devotion today. I am a single mother of two teenage girls.I have tried over the years to embrace their friends just like I do them. There is nothing more wonderful than hearing the laughter coming from my girls rooms and knowing they are safe and happy. Opening my home has also shown them that love holds us together, not material wealth. I would love to share the secrets of your book with my “extended” family.
June 1st, 2011 at 1:04 pmOh, Suzi!! I cried…right here…right here at my desk when I read this. We were that family. We always had extra kids, some for overnight and some for months!! I love’d every minute of it. When I would fix supper I never asked who all would be eating with us and by God’s grace, there would always be just enough. My sons have all moved out with families of their own now. Sadly, I have to report that they are not living for God…right now.(someday, soon). Some of the boys that shared our home are living for God now and it is the MOST AWESOME feeling for us to worship together!! Thank you for sharing this today.
Love in Christ,
June 1st, 2011 at 1:55 pmDana
Thanks for sharing your journey through your devotional today! We have a water sports ministry, http://www.3-20.org, and our target group is at risk kids. This past Saturday we held our summer kickoff, Lake Splash ’11, where groups come from local churches, government housing and childrens homes/group homes in the area. It was a great day with games, a huge water slide, great food and a concert to close the day with Humble Tip. It’s a lot of work but God always reminds us that we are impacting eternity by showing His love to students who desperately need to know they are loved.
Your book would be an encouragement to some of the students we will be working with this summer. As well, I would love to read about your journey as I continue to learn more about the students in our society that are labeled “at risk.” We know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God has a plan for their lives that goes far beyond their wildest dreams. (Eph. 3:20)
Thanks again for sharing!
Kathy
June 1st, 2011 at 2:43 pmI teach teens in a small rural Lutheran congregation, and I am constantly wondering if I am saying anything that will make a difference in their lives. I am one of those moms who does not mind other people’s kids in my house.
June 1st, 2011 at 3:17 pmThanks for your devotion. I have a son, 22, who has lost his faith. I am trying desperately for him to regain it. Pray for him.
Krys
June 1st, 2011 at 4:55 pmSo many times I read “Encouragement for the day” and think to myself , this is really good ! But , today is unlike all the others , because today I read it .. And cried.. I felt as though you were writing what was in my heart ! The heatbeat of God is this generation and you pegged it ! They just need us to love them without knowing how much it means to them ! It isn’t a duty, it is a lifestyle! And love from a Christ-like 2nd mom or dad is the best kind! We serve an AWESOME KING! Thank you agin for articulating the His Heartbeat today
Be Blessed!
June 1st, 2011 at 5:10 pmthank you so much for your ‘Words of Encouragement” today. Children always congregated at our house when our children were home. I work at a Children’s Home. The children are from varied backgrounds and need all the love they can get. I would love to have your book for one of our girls.
June 1st, 2011 at 5:13 pmThanks for your open heart and learned voice. Would love to read more of what you have; thanks for the opportunity.
June 1st, 2011 at 5:58 pmWhen I was growing up, my mom opened our home to all of my friends. I hope to overcome my insecurity of always wanting my house to be perfect, so that my daughter and her friends will always feel welcome here.
June 1st, 2011 at 9:29 pmI want to be that “second mom”! We host a girls’ bible study for 6th grade girls and 7th grade girls…but even today my daughter asked if she could have a friend for the weekend, and I’m thinking, “We’re busy, we have a lot going on around the house, we have open houses…” Yet my deepest desire is that my kids, and the kids God brings into our lives, become sold out for Christ.
June 1st, 2011 at 10:08 pmExcellent devotion! I’m a youth pastor’s wife & one of our girls just opened up to me for the first time in the 2 years I’ve known her about her positively horrific family life. This devotion reminded me why we do what we do. Thank you!!
June 1st, 2011 at 10:39 pmhi
June 2nd, 2011 at 1:33 ami am a young mom and wife(late 20′s), and i am a youth pastor at church. to be frank i am afraid of this role because i nkow how teens can be like. i nkow that whatever i say or do with them will impact their future. now im afraid of not being good enough to impact positively. Suzie please be my couch my old mom and assist me. i am in south africa. i know that i love them but i just dont know how to be spiritually physically perfect to ensure a good outcome. thx for the great devotion.
We don’t have teens yet (our oldest is 11), but this devotional encourages me to be available to my kids and their friends. This book sounds great for my son, and I’d pass it on to our youth pastor.
June 2nd, 2011 at 2:40 amI pray that as my children grow, I can be a second mom to someone.
June 2nd, 2011 at 7:07 amI had a “second mom”; without her, I would not be where I am–a wife, a mother, a teacher, a BELIEVER and FOLLOWER of JESUS CHRIST!
Thanks for the suggestions and guidance. I have a fourteen-year-old son who always has friends over. I am a teacher with great relationships with former students. I am an aunt to teenagers. I work with the children in our church and serve as a counselor each summer on a teen mission trip. You opened my eyes to my impact on these children/teens. Now, to be more for Christ!
June 2nd, 2011 at 8:09 pm