Walking in a new direction: when marriage is hard
October 20, 2011 | Faith: Knowing Christ, Family: Nurturing Family, Feelings: Intentional freedom
Go gently through this day, keeping your eyes on me. . . Sometimes the way before you appears to be blocked. If you focus on the obstacle or search for a way around it, you will probably go off course.
(Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, page 305)
A marriage was in trouble. She felt as if she couldn’t stay in it anymore.
“Suzie, why would God want me to stay when I just don’t feel it anymore? He’s the one who changed, not me.”
As I listened to her grievances, I didn’t try to advise her. I’ve never walked in her footsteps. My heart would be broken if my husband had changed from the man I married. It wasn’t infidelity. It wasn’t abuse. But it was a huge loss to the woman who once felt as one with the man she loved.
I did promise to pray. To believe with her. And while she was waiting, I asked if it was possible to focus on what He offered her in the difficult part of our “I do’s”.
“I don’t think that’s possible,” she said.
Later I saw her FB status updates, her blog posts. Something was happening.
Words of simple faith started appearing. Scriptures that promised to sustain us in the hard places. Words that spoke life into her.
It appeared that she had taken her eyes off the obstacle. A challenging task at best. But she had seen something bigger. Someone that doesn’t change. Someone who would fill the gaps. And she began to speak words of strength and promise into her own life, and that of her marraige.
“Are you okay?” I asked recently.
“More than okay,” she replied.
“Have things changed?”
“In my marriage? Not yet. In me? Absolutely.”
Are you in a hard place in your marriage?
“Go gently through this day, keeping your eyes on Him” for He sees you, sis. He hasn’t taken His eyes off His girl, off His child. Today I pray that as you keep your eyes on Him that He will fill you up and over with surprising joy.
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Thank you for this today. I was just thinking today how lonely I am in this marriage right now. He’s had trouble this year in his job, I work full time and go to school, which is like a heavy part time job. We don’t have much time together to just sit and talk, only moments here and there. Here’s what makes it worse though for me and I know this is selfish. He doesn’t sleep with me. He says it’s too hot or he doesn’t like the sound of my breathing. There isn’t much physical touch and that is one of my love languages, I am sure. My mom told me once long ago that something is lost when you don’t sleep together. Didn’t think about it until one day it dawned on me and I understood what she meant. I feel like I’m dying sometimes and it’s so lonely. He’s a great man and I love him, but this is my obstacle. I needed the reminder that if I want to walk on water I need to focus on Jesus, not the water. Thank you!
October 20th, 2011 at 9:42 am