When you need a peacemaker

January 12, 2012 | Family: Nurturing Family, Feelings: Intentional freedom

I didn’t have the words to respond. I was angry that I was there. . . again. I felt defeated. Because I wanted to do the right thing, to say the right things, but everything I said just seemed to make it worse.

So I finally shut up. But my internal dialogue continued.

I love you, but right now I don’t like you very much at all.

Why can’t you hear what I’m trying to say?

Why can’t you see how hard I try?

Have you been there? We all have, at one time or another, but no one wants to remain in unresolved conflict. (more…)

I want to help my teen grow up

January 6, 2012 | Books, Family: Nurturing Family

Perhaps your teen is on the way out of the door. It’s her junior or senior year and the days are flying by. Before you know it, she’ll be out on her own. Have you prepared her? Are you prepared?

Resolution: To help my teen grow up

Plan: Answer these questions:

1. Is my teen trustworthy?
2. Am I willing to allow my teen to make her own decisions as long as she is trustworthy?
3. Do I struggle to let go and why?
4. Am I willing to allow my teen to learn through his mistakes?

One teen I know was known by many as the “good” guy. He did the right things. He loved God. He listened to his parents. But this teen was also known by a few as the frustrated-out-of-his mind guy. (more…)

I want to encourage my teen in her faith

January 5, 2012 | Books, Family: Nurturing Family

Yesterday we talked about moving from a resolution to a plan for our family relationships. I had three teens at the same time. I loved the teen years in many ways, but there were also challenges.

One was that my children were moving from a family-centered faith to determining whether faith was for them or not.

It’s a scary time. If we believe in Christ and all that He offers us, it’s hard to think that our children might walk in another direction. And yet every person has to make that decision. Loving God is a personal relationship and one that I can foster, but not form for my child. (more…)

Family resolution: I Want to Stop Fighting w/my teen

January 4, 2012 | Family: Nurturing Family

Have you resolved to laugh more together as a family? Or maybe your resolution is to find time to really talk with each other. Perhaps it’s to fight less, or to work through conflict in a healthier way.

These are great resolutions that can make a difference, but they are only wishful thinking without a plan.

Recently I saw a family fight crop up on my Facebook feed. I don’t know this family very well, but if you dug deep enough you found a mom who wanted time with her young adult children. If you dug deep enough you found teens who wanted to talk, but not necessarily fight with their mom–especially in the public forum of Facebook.

Perhaps this mom’s resolution is to spend quality time with her children. Far from getting what she wants, she’s creating the opposite effect by her actions and attitude.

Let’s look at a few resolutions you might have made for your relationship with your teen or young adult and a plan to get there in 2012. (more…)

Is your faith in God alone?

December 1, 2011 | Faith: Knowing Christ, Family: Nurturing Family, Feelings: Intentional freedom

Trials demand wisdom, wisdom demands prayer, and prayer demands faith. ~R. Ellsworth

Sometimes I just don’t have the answer. Am I alone in this? I don’t think so.

Not long ago I had an encounter with someone I care about. Something small turned large in a heartbeat. It made me angry. I wanted to hurt this person back. But I paused.

Just for a second.

Because reacting to feelings often lead me in a crazy direction, the opposite of where I really want to go.

What do I do?

A prayer. Whispered where no one could hear. And then I knew what to do. It was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do, or would have done 10 seconds earlier. (more…)

Dear friend, when a family member hurts my heart

November 29, 2011 | Family: Nurturing Family, Q&A: Dear Friend

Do you have a question about faith, family, or feelings? Let’s talk. Let’s pray together. Send your email to tseller@daretobelieve.org and mark it “Dear Friend”. Today a mom and mother-in-law responds to Friday’s post, Holiday Blues.

Dear Suzie,

After reading your devotional on family and holidays, I am right where you are. We have a young grandbaby that we rarely get to spend time with. Her mother is jealous of any relationship my son may have with us and finds every excuse imaginable to stay away from us. She only wants to share her time with her parents.

We have spoken in love with both of them, they only say that they don’t have time and are busy they both work. I work, but we always time we have for them. I have prayed and asked God to help me accept this, but I am so very depressed that things are this way .

Can you please pray for our family? I have told my husband I either just want to leave or not even live. It is so hurtful the way she treats us. Our son allows her to be the leader of their house. My husband has tried to talk to him alone, but to no avail. I am so lonely for the love of my son and his family. Our son lives only 15 minutes away.

Will you lift us up in your prayers and if you have any advice, please send it my way. Hurting mom and grandma. (more…)