Our “Good Mom” List

June 2, 2008 | articles, family

Before I had children, I had a Good Mom list. It read something like this:

• When I become a mother, I will not ignore my children.
• When I become a mother, I will not physically harm my children.
• When I become a mother, I will not scream or yell.
• When I become a mother, I will never humiliate my child.

It was all the things I promised I’d never do to my children. I ask this same question at every parenting conference, and moms add their wishes to the list:

• I won’t force my children to be something they are not
• I won’t tell my children that they are lazy or stupid.
• I won’t lose it!

While all of these are good things, a Good Mom list isn’t very functional. When your five-year-old has a meltdown in WalMart or your preteen screams, “I hate you”, you can whip out your Good Mom list all that you want. You can even stand in the aisle of the grocery store chanting, “I will not; I will not; I will not” while Jr. kicks your shins, turns red in the face, and threatens to hold his breath.

At that moment, you need to know what to do, rather than what not to do. (more…)

MIL’s get a bad rap, or do we?

May 20, 2008 | family

Josh was the first. He and Melissa married three years ago. He instantly felt like family. I knew his mother gave birth to him, and I would never take her place, but he felt like my own. 

And then Leslie came home. She talked about a guy named Stephen. This was big news because Leslie was in law school and my beautiful daughter dated no one, except “friend dates” and study dates. She was focused on her career and law school. Unlike Melissa, who tells us everything, Leslie is more reserved. If she was talking about someone, he was a big deal.

Four months.

That’s the amount of time both of our daughters gave us to plan a wedding. No year-long engagements for the Eller family. : ) As we planned, I wondered, “would we/could we love Stephen as much as our first in-law child?”

They just celebrated their first year of marriage. We fell in love with his silly antics, singing and swooping Leslie off her feet. He’s a lawyer, too, so there’s a serious side, but he’s in love with my daughter and a joy to know, and I’m grateful to call him son-in-law.

And then there was Kristin. (more…)

simple things

May 19, 2008 | family

Melissa and Josh are staying with us for a few days. They are in transition, moving from one state to another to start Josh’s Masters degree and Melissa’s doctorate.

I know that many people find a crowded home awkward as adults navigate around the parent/child– adult/adult relationship. Sure, there’s a learning curve as my children get older and as our family grows to include sons- and a daughter-in-law, but I absolutely love my home full of family. 

Funny, but I once thought the whole parenting aspect was complete at a certain time. (more…)

Cutest kid ever

May 16, 2008 | family, quotes

My daughter’s good friend, LeAnne, has a 2 1/2 year old son named Titus. If there was an award for the cutest kid ever category, I think he would win it. I checked in to LeAnne’s Facebook lately and she had shared some of Titus’ recent sayings. You got to read these. They are priceless.
 

We were sitting on the front porch sharing my ipod.
I asked, “Hey Titus, do you want some ice cream?”
He answered with his eyes closed:
“Just let me listen. I’m enjoying this music”
(John Prine, “Thats The Way The World Goes Round”)

After being asked: “Hey Titus, what do you want to be when you grow up? An architect, engineer…or an artist?” He was building a bridge out of his fort building kit.
He answered: “No…I’m going to help little children cross the street when im a grown-up.” Then finished building his bridge.

He was asked by a friend we had to dinner, “Titus do you work? Do you have a job?” He answered, “My job is to take care of momma.” (more…)

I wish it were my doing, but. . .

May 14, 2008 | family

So, how do you like the new look of the website?

I’m excited about the new direction. I wanted this to be welcoming, and to be a place where I could invite readers to join me to talk about Christ, life, issues, and books.

Speaking of life, this weekend my three children and two of their spouses graduated from college.

Somehow these five graduations–in three cities–in five different facilities–were all at the same time and on the same day. Ayee!

We attended as many ceremonies as we could, but I was torn.

(more…)

Article for moms (and dads) wanting to heal the past

May 9, 2008 | articles, family

I hope you’ll check out a great article on cbn.com today. I was interviewed by Belinda Elliot of Christian Broadcasting Network and it ran as a feature on their site.

Here is an excerpt of Be The Mom You Want to Be: (more…)

When Mother’s Day isn’t what it’s cracked up to be

May 7, 2008 | family

My good friend, Allison, shared this on her Boomer Babes Rock blog today:

“I was recently in a meeting with a group of dynamic authors and speakers. One of them asked for feedback on a Mother’s Day message she was giving. She wanted to keep her presentation upbeat and exciting. I could understand that. She was focusing on all the mothers who were going to have a lovely day. Yet, when I asked her the following question, I could immediately see that I threw her a curve ball.

What about the mothers in the audience whose hearts are breaking because they may have lost a child, or their child is in bondage to an addiction, or, like my son, might be in prison?” (more…)

When things don’t go the way we hope

April 22, 2008 | faith, family

My mom is sick. We received the call last Thursday and I rushed to the hospital. (more…)

A poem for parents of teens

April 21, 2008 | family

May my teen make wise decisions today, putting
Yesterday’s mistakes behind her

Trusting God, growing, learning
Excelling in the things that matter long-term
Entering new territory with confidence and hope
Never doubting that I am praying
Affirming her in spite of a culture that
Greatly doubts what one teen can do
Every day I trust you, God, because I
Realize you love her even more than me

WRJZ

April 10, 2008 | family, media interviews

It was a pleasure to have another early morning radio interview, this time with Bob Bell of Joy 620 WRJZ, Knoxville, Tennessee.

Maybe you are visiting DTB today because you heard something in that interview, and want to know more.

Being a mom is both a wonderful, and yet sometimes challenging role. It’s life changing. It’s beautiful. It’s also demanding, difficult, and overwhelming at times, especially if you are carrying hurt or anger or unhealthy parenting patterns from the past.

What can you do? (more…)