Comments for T. Suzanne Eller http://www.tsuzanneeller.com Leading Women in a New Direction Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:24:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on A fresh start by Chris http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27658 Chris Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:24:57 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27658 I just bought your book last week, and am reading it now. I feel like Aimee and I have the same mother! Unfortunately, my mom lives only 20 minutes away. What complicates things even more is that she claims to also be a Christian, and frequently will throw "the Bible says to honor your parents" when she doesn't get her way with me or my children. I hope your book addresses this topic- how to honor toxic parents. Right now, it doesn't feel possible to do , but I know God can help me do anything in His will. I just bought your book last week, and am reading it now. I feel like Aimee and I have the same mother! Unfortunately, my mom lives only 20 minutes away. What complicates things even more is that she claims to also be a Christian, and frequently will throw “the Bible says to honor your parents” when she doesn’t get her way with me or my children. I hope your book addresses this topic- how to honor toxic parents. Right now, it doesn’t feel possible to do , but I know God can help me do anything in His will.

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Gwen http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27655 Gwen Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:34:05 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27655 Praising God for releasing you from the past and giving you a very special relationship with your mom. Thank you for sharing. Praising God for releasing you from the past and giving you a very special relationship with your mom. Thank you for sharing.

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Peggy http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27654 Peggy Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:28:44 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27654 I appreciate so much what your wrote for today. It touched me very deeply. I cam from a very dysfunctional family and parenting was very hard for me. Life as very hard in general for a variety of reasons. I attempted suicide because I just had no more energy to figure it out. Depression haunted me. My husband was chronically ill and we had two sons who are now grown. I remember the day when I realized there was something very wrong. I sought help at a group called Parents Anonymous. I wasn't abusing my kids, but I just didn't know how to be a parent. I learned this came because I had parents who didn't know how to parent. My mother grew up in a home that had dysfunction, as well as, my father. By making this choice, I had begun to change that dysfunction. God has been with me on this journey. One of the hardest obstacles I have had to overcome has been that people perceive me to the same as I was years ago. They still remember what I used to be like versus seeing beyond the stigma. It is as if they shut down before they can see the new behavior. Granted, there are many people who never see their dysfunction and change, but there are people who do. Also, it is possible to learn skills to relate to dysfunctional people. I realize that can be hard, but it is possible. Thanks for your article and I will have to look into your book. I appreciate so much what your wrote for today. It touched me very deeply. I cam from a very dysfunctional family and parenting was very hard for me. Life as very hard in general for a variety of reasons. I attempted suicide because I just had no more energy to figure it out. Depression haunted me.
My husband was chronically ill and we had two sons who are now grown. I remember the day when I realized there was something very wrong. I sought help at a group called Parents Anonymous. I wasn’t abusing my kids, but I just didn’t know how to be a parent. I learned this came because I had parents who didn’t know how to parent. My mother grew up in a home that had dysfunction, as well as, my father. By making this choice, I had begun to change that dysfunction. God has been with me on this journey.
One of the hardest obstacles I have had to overcome has been that people perceive me to the same as I was years ago. They still remember what I used to be like versus seeing beyond the stigma. It is as if they shut down before they can see the new behavior. Granted, there are many people who never see their dysfunction and change, but there are people who do. Also, it is possible to learn skills to relate to dysfunctional people. I realize that can be hard, but it is possible.
Thanks for your article and I will have to look into your book.

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Sherry http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27653 Sherry Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:11:20 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27653 Thank you for sharing your story on Proverbs 31. It has encouraged me to hear that God has healed your heart and allowed you to move on. Thank you for sharing your story on Proverbs 31. It has encouraged me to hear that God has healed your heart and allowed you to move on.

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Lisa http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27652 Lisa Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:56:31 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27652 Thanks for your post on Proverbs 31 today. I so needed to hear these words as I still hold on to hurts from the past in my family. I would love to see them grow and mature in their relationship with Christ (but that may never happen!) and see them healthy and free. So, I entrust them to God and start loving them for who they are today, not the one that hurt me and continues to hurt me. It's not a perfect walk every time, but I, too, am imperfect and trying to view them with the eyes of Christ and forgive with some distance and lack of trust at times, but want to be in relationship with them, so still try! Appreciate your words and telling part of your story today! God's blessings on you, your family, and your ministry, Lisa Thanks for your post on Proverbs 31 today. I so needed to hear these words as I still hold on to hurts from the past in my family. I would love to see them grow and mature in their relationship with Christ (but that may never happen!) and see them healthy and free. So, I entrust them to God and start loving them for who they are today, not the one that hurt me and continues to hurt me. It’s not a perfect walk every time, but I, too, am imperfect and trying to view them with the eyes of Christ and forgive with some distance and lack of trust at times, but want to be in relationship with them, so still try!

Appreciate your words and telling part of your story today!

God’s blessings on you, your family, and your ministry,
Lisa

]]> Comment on Lesson from a yellow slip and slide by Wendy newsom http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/01/23/lesson-from-a-yellow-slip-and-slide/comment-page-1/#comment-27651 Wendy newsom Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:25:03 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4122#comment-27651 I had four children in fours. Our house was never a showplace...far far from it. It was pretty much always messy and definitely always loud. And most of the time I always had "extras" because it was the place their friends hung out as well. At the time I would cringe when "the church ladies" would pop in...I always felt a little ashamed that my home never looked like house beautiful. My children are grown now. My oldest daughter just married and moved 5 hours away. On her way out of town she left a letter not to be opened until she was on the road. In the letter she stated how grateful she was the way she grew up. It is so hard to let them go but I am so grateful that we "played" and laughed while they were growing up. My house is quite and clean now...until one day when I am blessed with grandchildren:) I had four children in fours. Our house was never a showplace…far far from it. It was pretty much always messy and definitely always loud. And most of the time I always had “extras” because it was the place their friends hung out as well. At the time I would cringe when “the church ladies” would pop in…I always felt a little ashamed that my home never looked like house beautiful.
My children are grown now. My oldest daughter just married and moved 5 hours away. On her way out of town she left a letter not to be opened until she was on the road. In the letter she stated how grateful she was the way she grew up.
It is so hard to let them go but I am so grateful that we “played” and laughed while they were growing up. My house is quite and clean now…until one day when I am blessed with grandchildren:)

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Lauren Young http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27650 Lauren Young Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:02:28 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27650 Thank you so much for this! I needed it today! I was raised in a very dysfuntional home. It was my goal to never allow my children to go through the things that I went through when I was younger. My husband and I have worked hard to create a good environment, although not always perfect. Last year we had to set boundaries with my parents that were difficult but the best for our children. Last night was a rough night with my family because my daughter (age 8) questioned the boundaries we had set, which she does every now and then. It is hard for her to understand why we made the choices, even though it is in her best interest. Her questions caused me to question our choices, but this helps me to know that we are doing what is right for our children, even though it isn't easy! Thank you so much for this! I needed it today! I was raised in a very dysfuntional home. It was my goal to never allow my children to go through the things that I went through when I was younger. My husband and I have worked hard to create a good environment, although not always perfect. Last year we had to set boundaries with my parents that were difficult but the best for our children. Last night was a rough night with my family because my daughter (age 8) questioned the boundaries we had set, which she does every now and then. It is hard for her to understand why we made the choices, even though it is in her best interest. Her questions caused me to question our choices, but this helps me to know that we are doing what is right for our children, even though it isn’t easy!

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Aimee http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27648 Aimee Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:07:00 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27648 Thank you for writing this. It made me realize I am not alone in this struggle. As a Christian leader, there are many times when I want other people to think I just instantly give everything to God and through His grace it will all be ok. Admitting however, that I am still angry over the past and feel the unjustices will never be made right, through both my parents who hurt me, financially and emotionally, I know I am a work in progress. My mother who has mental issues and who has played the "victim" card for 20 years, lies alot and it's always someone else's fault, is exhausting to deal with and I truly believe that boundries are a must. I thank God every day she is 4 states away! Thanks for sharing your struggles and the insight of the scriptures. It feels good to know that I am not alone in dealing with a dysfuntional family, while trying to represent Christ. Thank you for writing this. It made me realize I am not alone in this struggle. As a Christian leader, there are many times when I want other people to think I just instantly give everything to God and through His grace it will all be ok. Admitting however, that I am still angry over the past and feel the unjustices will never be made right, through both my parents who hurt me, financially and emotionally, I know I am a work in progress. My mother who has mental issues and who has played the “victim” card for 20 years, lies alot and it’s always someone else’s fault, is exhausting to deal with and I truly believe that boundries are a must. I thank God every day she is 4 states away! Thanks for sharing your struggles and the insight of the scriptures. It feels good to know that I am not alone in dealing with a dysfuntional family, while trying to represent Christ.

]]> Comment on A fresh start by Rose http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/06/a-fresh-start/comment-page-1/#comment-27647 Rose Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:48:43 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4161#comment-27647 Dear Suzie, Your book helped me so much. I was verbally abused by my stepfather. I am 60 and have suffered for years thinking I was not good enough. That is what I always heard him say. I have bought and given your book to my niece and others. I thank God for your honestly in your book and your blog. Sometimes I feel so sad when I am in my bible study and people talk about their life growing up with christian parents. My parents don't go to church and honestly my dad makes fun of christian people. I feel like my friends who had the kind of christian life don't get it when people like me just never had God's love by example shown to them. Anyway, thank you for being so honest and helping people know that in spite of your childhood, you can grow up and be the person God intended you to be. I certainly try to do His will every day and am soo grateful He loves me like I am. Please pray for my daughter in law as she was not brought up in any church, and has a mother that didn't always show the best example. Her mother has ocdc,and very hyper. My son is being mentored by his church and friends, and is praying for and hoping his wife will accept and follow Jesus. Right now, she is working from 8-6 everyday, with the girls in day care, and recently told me she would not ever move if my son was transferred in his job. I said "you need to pray about these decisions, if they ever occur. She just doesn't do that yet. I pray for my son and his family daily. Please would you? Thank you Rose Dear Suzie, Your book helped me so much. I was verbally abused by my stepfather. I am 60 and have suffered for years thinking I was not good enough. That is what I always heard him say. I have bought and given your book to my niece and others. I thank God for your honestly in your book and your blog. Sometimes I feel so sad when I am in my bible study and people talk about their life growing up with christian parents. My parents don’t go to church and honestly my dad makes fun of christian people. I feel like my friends who had the kind of christian life don’t get it when people like me just never had God’s love by example shown to them.

Anyway, thank you for being so honest and helping people know that in spite of your childhood, you can grow up and be the person God intended you to be. I certainly try to do His will every day and am soo grateful He loves me like I am.
Please pray for my daughter in law as she was not brought up in any church, and has a mother that didn’t always show the best example. Her mother has ocdc,and very hyper. My son is being mentored by his church and friends, and is praying for and hoping his wife will accept and follow Jesus. Right now, she is working from 8-6 everyday, with the girls in day care, and recently told me she would not ever move if my son was transferred in his job. I said “you need to pray about these decisions, if they ever occur. She just doesn’t do that yet. I pray for my son and his family daily. Please would you? Thank you
Rose

]]> Comment on To live free: Give yourself a little grace by Shannon http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/2012/02/03/to-live-free-give-yourself-a-little-grace/comment-page-1/#comment-27627 Shannon Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:24:34 +0000 http://www.tsuzanneeller.com/?p=4153#comment-27627 Hi Suzie! Remember me from Tuesday night? (We closed up shop that night at Ada Bible.) I've been thinking about what you said... and this post reiterates it well. At first, I didn't think you were right. I thought, "Me? Being too condemning of myself? No--I'm probably not condemning enough!" But then, I pondered it on the way home. I contemplated whose voice I'm hearing, condemning me when I fail? It certainly isn't God's. His gift was far too costly to say that my debt isn't covered. It might be my enemy's voice. He'd love to shut me down. Or it might be my own voice-- a voice of pride that says, "You're above failing." Either way, you're right. Grace is what I must remember. God's grace, which that makes both my pride and an enemy's condemnation unreasonable. I've been forgiven! I think grace is one of the keys to being unstoppable, don't you? Thanks, Suzie! Hi Suzie! Remember me from Tuesday night? (We closed up shop that night at Ada Bible.) I’ve been thinking about what you said… and this post reiterates it well. At first, I didn’t think you were right. I thought, “Me? Being too condemning of myself? No–I’m probably not condemning enough!” But then, I pondered it on the way home. I contemplated whose voice I’m hearing, condemning me when I fail? It certainly isn’t God’s. His gift was far too costly to say that my debt isn’t covered.

It might be my enemy’s voice. He’d love to shut me down. Or it might be my own voice– a voice of pride that says, “You’re above failing.” Either way, you’re right. Grace is what I must remember. God’s grace, which that makes both my pride and an enemy’s condemnation unreasonable. I’ve been forgiven!

I think grace is one of the keys to being unstoppable, don’t you? Thanks, Suzie!

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