But I’m the one who was hurt!

January 11, 2012 | Feelings: Intentional freedom, Q&A: Dear Friend

Dear Suzie,

While I semi agree with your blog post yesterday, I don’t think you understand fully. What if you are the one who was hurt? Do you still have to step back to see the whole picture? What about the person who created the conflict in the first place? Don’t they have responsibility in this too?

An injured party

(more…)

conflict gone wild

January 10, 2012 | Feelings: Intentional freedom

Continual conflict is like a vacuum. Pretty soon all that is swirling in your brain and life is drama. You become closed off from what matters to you and what you’d like to pursue. And the people you care about, they are sucked into that conflict (or at least the aftermath) with you.

Is there an off button? (more…)

I want to help my teen grow up

January 6, 2012 | Books, Family: Nurturing Family

Perhaps your teen is on the way out of the door. It’s her junior or senior year and the days are flying by. Before you know it, she’ll be out on her own. Have you prepared her? Are you prepared?

Resolution: To help my teen grow up

Plan: Answer these questions:

1. Is my teen trustworthy?
2. Am I willing to allow my teen to make her own decisions as long as she is trustworthy?
3. Do I struggle to let go and why?
4. Am I willing to allow my teen to learn through his mistakes?

One teen I know was known by many as the “good” guy. He did the right things. He loved God. He listened to his parents. But this teen was also known by a few as the frustrated-out-of-his mind guy. (more…)

I want to encourage my teen in her faith

January 5, 2012 | Books, Family: Nurturing Family

Yesterday we talked about moving from a resolution to a plan for our family relationships. I had three teens at the same time. I loved the teen years in many ways, but there were also challenges.

One was that my children were moving from a family-centered faith to determining whether faith was for them or not.

It’s a scary time. If we believe in Christ and all that He offers us, it’s hard to think that our children might walk in another direction. And yet every person has to make that decision. Loving God is a personal relationship and one that I can foster, but not form for my child. (more…)

Family resolution: I Want to Stop Fighting w/my teen

January 4, 2012 | Family: Nurturing Family

Have you resolved to laugh more together as a family? Or maybe your resolution is to find time to really talk with each other. Perhaps it’s to fight less, or to work through conflict in a healthier way.

These are great resolutions that can make a difference, but they are only wishful thinking without a plan.

Recently I saw a family fight crop up on my Facebook feed. I don’t know this family very well, but if you dug deep enough you found a mom who wanted time with her young adult children. If you dug deep enough you found teens who wanted to talk, but not necessarily fight with their mom–especially in the public forum of Facebook.

Perhaps this mom’s resolution is to spend quality time with her children. Far from getting what she wants, she’s creating the opposite effect by her actions and attitude.

Let’s look at a few resolutions you might have made for your relationship with your teen or young adult and a plan to get there in 2012. (more…)

Not on my own

January 2, 2012 | Faith: Knowing Christ, Just me

“People think Suzie has it all together, but God knows that she is battling,” the pastor said, praying quietly with me. And then he began to speak words over a heart that hungrily received them.

Words like, “Lord, she can’t do it on her own”. (more…)